Happy Unbirthday...

Let's see...

I had a fight with Hubby the night before my birthday. The details are hazy. Something about how I hang the towels up. The fucking towels. Apparently if you hang them together three at a time they go mouldy. Like I give a shit. Like He bought even one of them. My Mother, of all people, did. The point is I hung the towels up, right? And He does nothing around here.

Him: You don't listen to me.

Me: I don't fucking Have To.

Scream Scream Scream.

Okay; so it was just a stupid fight that went on for too long. I made him sleep on the couch. Because it's My new bed. The money that paid for it came out of My account. Don't be under any delusions that Hubby was the one who spoke on the phone to Centrelink and over-estimated Tax Benefit A and B to the tune of almost five thousand dollars. That was My doing. That was the plan for the Entire Year. My plan.

Him: Do you honestly believe That?

Me: Abso-fucking-lutely.

He slept on the couch at my insistence. Then woke me up in the morning; rooting around in the drawers for undies. I drove him to work.

Him: Have a good day.

What was implied was...

Have a good day at the zoo.

Me: What?

Him: Have a good day.

I arrived at school with little Son around seven thirty; and lined up for the bus with the forty Kindy kids and four teachers. Me. It's my thirty fourth birthday and I don't deserve this brain assault.

Mister Chan-d-ler...

Mister Chan-d-ler...

That poor guy must go to sleep with that mantra in his brain.

So followed the day at Taronga Zoo. I haven't been since eldest Son was three. I was expected to attend on account of littlest Son's behaviour last term. But I didn't expect lollies to be stuck to my jumper by monsters parading as five year olds. Most of the kids made my own look like an angel. It made me realise how immature he is compared to some of them. Happily naive. Some were just downright sneaky little shits.

We returned to school by five pm; went home to get quickly showered and then on to the Pub for dinner with Hubby and the kids for tea. Jen Jen came also. Bar Chick bought Me a pint. After a dinner of barbecue spare ribs I drove Hubby and the kids home and then returned for the Trivia. Twink, Fido and Golden Shower Boy were in a team of their own so I joined up with them for the final two rounds; increasing their team to second place from fifth.

Hairy and Toddy both bought Me a pint. And Twink got me a shot of Sambucca. Then Petey sold me two four packs of Wild Turkey and we went back to Twinks to have a smoke. Later; Fido drove me home (he's off the piss since breaking up with Miss Fancy Pants) and I proceeded to fall down my driveway on top of said Wild Turkey four pack...

Luckily none broke. But my arse is bruised and feels broken, still- four days later.

Friday morning I got up; wrote out a lunch order for little Son. And went to work. Sober enough. Nazza and Franny were on. They both said a happy belated birthday and Nazza asked what I had gotten in the way of presents.

Me: Not much. Some sheets off Mum for my new bed. And a book I won't read. And some scratchies off Hubby's Mum. And fifty bucks for some sheets.

Nazza: What about Hubby? What did he get you?

Me: Nothing. He didn't even say Happy Birthday to Me.

Nazza: What a prick!

I know why he didn't. To punish Me for our fight the night before. And because He knows that it would get to me. Like it does every time he 'forgets' to say happy birthday to Me.

Let Me give You All a clue. It's not on the fifth. That's his Ex's birthday. Fleur. Flower. Tampon. Hubby's wished Me a happy birthday on Her's more than just a few occasions.

He forgets that he forgot my birthday once for three weeks. He went to a Crowded House concert and got on the piss with Danny for three days instead.

Anyway; enough about the Past...

After work I collected little Son from school and drove him over to Grandma's before taking Hubby and myself to the pub. Hubby had to work the next morning so he wanted to get down as early as possible; not that I was complaining. I dropped my pill in record time. After that I remember...

Hubby telling Me that he had a panic attack at work. That he felt dread. That he felt dreadful. And Me rubbing his back and telling him it was all okay. That shit happens to all of us and that it makes us feel better to talk about it. And I know he felt better talking to Me. That's what I'm Here for.

That's why it hurts to be told I'm Sad for waking up in the morning and having a bong first thing. Especially when I listened to Hubby and didn't judge.

We made up with Golden Shower Boy for his past indiscretions. And while it might not be his fault that Shit happens in his life I still don't see why the rest of Us have to bear the brunt ot it.

Or Fido's crap.

Or Hubby's.

Or Mine.

Then; because it Had to happen Eventually...

Him; Happy Birthday. For Yesterday.

Me: Thanks. And you did that Why?

Then he kissed my face with his broken lip (Fido split his lip open last week after an 'altercation' regarding Hubby calling Fido a 'marshmallow'; there's more to the story, though, obviously...)and told Me he didn't know Why.

I don't know why either.