Mr Somebody Else...

He and I might have been perfect in Any other world...

But in My world I have just bought a new bed that I share with my Husband of seventeen years. We have two children; aged fifteen and five. Both were unplanned but then so is Life.

We aren't very compatible. Never have been. People find it surprising to learn that I pretty much stalked him for three years. Sometime during this we had a child. Then, when our Son was about eighteen months old, we finally became boyfriend and girlfriend. He paid rare attention to Me then and he pays rare attention to Me now. It's only because of my loyalty and undivided love for Him that we are still together. Still; I have so much More to forgive him for than he does me. And I haven't crossed a physical line. Yet. At least; it's nothing that wouldn't be forgiven. I just want to make that very clear.

And yet I choose Him. Even throughout the crap...

Tonight Twink messaged Me; asking if my friend C from work was going to be coming out with Us again this Saturday night coming. I messaged her and asked; told her that it was Twink in particular who was inquiring; and that he was wondering if she would like his number. Even to My surprise (lol) she said that she would...

Meanwhile; Twink and I were having a text war. I'd asked him What the cause for celebration was; on what selling point would I get C from work to get a babysitter for her kids in order to come down to satisfy Twink's wishes...

Twink: My salvation (meaning a root for the night).

Me: Thats what Pro's are for. I'll still ask. Behave.

A few texts later he called me by a Name. Will. He knows that it's a sore point. I texted back...

Me: C has your number and sounds keen about Saturday night. This must have Everything to do with the big wrap I've just given you. You can thank Me later.

Twink: Cheers Buffoony. Love ya.

I finished texting Twink and C. Hubby asked what I was up to. So I told him.

Him: What are you; a Pimp or something?

I explained the entirety of the text messages I'd been sending between Myself Twink and C; I didn't know it was wrong setting up two friends for a few drinks on Saturday night; especially they actually met last weekend without me even being anywhere around them at all. C was at the pub with my best mate M and Twink knows that we all work together and that he could contact her again through me or M. He knows Me better than he knows M. Therefore he asked Me. Anyway; Twink and C must have been getting on okay last weekend when they met; she said that he had seemed like a nice guy. The delusional fool!

Anyway...

Hubby: What sort of a Pimp goes out with four condoms in her bag and comes home with four condoms in her bag?

Me: A very good Pimp (ie one that doesn't misbehave).

Hubby: That's 'cos you can't get one.

Me: You mean, 'Don't' (get one).

Hubby: Which is it? 'Cant'? Or 'Don't'?

Me: (looking Him fully in the eyes and telling the Absolute Truth): Don't.

I don't know if this dialogue fully transcends what happened between Us...

But Somehow he knows. And Somehow I just probably told him that I want to fuck Somebody Else but that I'm holding back because of him. For the kids, too. But Mostly for him. Now he just has to figure out Who. And That my Friends, has to remain a secret.

I guess this was my perfect opportunity to tell Hubby about the thoughts I've been having; maybe I would have if he had pressed the issue. But he ended the conversation, there and there, and went to sleep on the couch. And I sat in the corner like I always do; underneath the picture of a Madman- and watched The Chasers War On Everything and I wished that my fingers could be His.

Mr Somebody Else's...