(Oh How I Wish That I Was) Jessie's Girl...

The first time that I met Jessie was on board the HMAS Parramatta where he cooked me the worst bacon and eggs I've ever eaten in my life...

I forgave him for it; eventually- about ten years later if my memory serves Me correctly.

The second time I met him was at a party when I was still sixteen; I think it was his twenty-first birthday. Stan and Yobbo took Me and Dano; I suppose anyone who didn't know any better might have imagined that I was there with Stan- but I wasn't. The feelings he felt for Me were never mutual I'm afraid. I liked Jessie straight away; though that's not his real name of course. I've never called him by his real name either, though- so I suppose what name You know him by doesn't matter in the slightest. Stan told me that the reason behind Jessie's nickname was that it had been the name of an athlete from the Berlin Olympics; so if you want to go digging and delving into History then you can be my guest- try and work out his identity for yourselves.

But you'll never hear it from me; because to this day he is the only other man I think I could have loved and been happy with- aside from my Hubby of course...

If I have one Sexual Regret in my life then it's that Jessie and I didn't get to have sex on the one and only night when we both had the freedom to do so. If we had chosen to. It was a few months after I had turned seventeen when I ran into Jessie and his cousin Johnny at a night club. They both bought me drinks all night; but I stupidly chose to go home with Johnny instead of Jessie- thinking that Jess was only interested in me as a mate because of Stan- and also because he was five years older than me- and only went out with women; not little girls like Me.

And so I ended up back at the house- but with the wrong family member...

Johnny was alright; except that he was a terrible snorer. I had sex with him twice more before we got bored with each other. But because I never slept with Jessie I suppose I always have secretly wished that I did. The few times he Did kiss me he had the softest lips and the wildest tongue imaginable; though I worried he would never be able to kiss me slowly- as he would've if he had really been 'into' me.

He could make me feel dizzy just by looking at me with his intense black eyes; eyes that seemed to find me desirable and hot. By the time I realised that I wanted to fuck him-badly- it was too late; and I had already reunited with my Hubby. But I have seen Jessie since. There was a time when we even drank together regularly- but only ever as friends...

The last time I saw him he looked at me, his lust only thinly disguised, and told me that I was still as 'fine' as I ever was. It made my Year that he thought I was still rootable. We reminisced about That Time down at the beach when we were younger - and the Other Time at the bowling alley- which I think he had totally forgotten about until I reminded him- and then he left; before I could think about ruining the relationship I already have.

It's the closest I've ever come to cheating on my Hubby; and not because anything happened- but because I really would have liked it to. That's why I knew that I had to move away- needed to- even if it was only a few suburbs away; because it would get the Thought of Him out of my mind once and for all. And when I didn't see him every day I got over it. Really.

Jessie didn't want the kind of relationship that I had with my Hubby and Son and I would never give that up- having a family with them. It wouldn't feel right. I know that I've long missed the proverbial boat when it comes to being with Jessie- but it still made me smile when I was talking to one of our long-ago mutual friends, not all that long ago- and he told me that back then Jess had told him that he was really keen on a gorgeous girl with long black hair.

Me.

rn-buffoon...

I suppose that's why I've found Myself thinking of Jessie again recently, because he used to look at me in a way my Hubby never has- like everything I had to say was funny or sexy or interesting or whatever. Jesse listened to me when I raved on with my craziness and laughed when I spoke it out loud.

I know he thought I was rootable, too...

I just wish I had done something different about it when I first had the chance- when I was seventeen and not with my Hubby- things would have turned out very differently if I had- that's for sure.

It's long gone now- any chance of being with Jessie. I don't regret staying faithful to my Hubby, either, even though he never even knew until Just Now that I had ever considered being anything else but faithful to him.

Oh well. I was. And that's the most important thing isn't it?

Just thought I'd point that part out, though.

Twice...