Frigid Slut...

When I was five I thought that the word 'masturbate' was pronounced Master Bate. Like all little kids did. I learned how to do it by reading about it, and even at that young age knew how to make Myself have an o-r-g-a-r-s-m.

I've told you before that I've been obsessed by sex since a young age, so this shouldn't come as any surprise to you, but it has surprised the few people that I have told about it. Naturally all kids fiddle with themselves, but in an unconcious and undeliberate manner. There's no goal to be achieved. They don't hide under their blankets pretending to be asleep. I don't think they do anyway. They don't realise that they are supposed to feel shameful about doing it, either, so they do it everywhere- even in public- much to the embarrassment of their parents.

I wasn't like that. I knew all about how to Master Bate, much more than I should have at that tender age, probably. I also read all about heterosexual and homosexual sex and all about threesomes and gang bangs and lesbians- and more than anything that's what I wanted when I grew up- to have all these amazingly different sexual experiences with People. That's what adults did and I couldn't wait to do it either.

I'm still waiting for most of it all to happen, actually,but no one else seems to be interested in being sexually adventurous anymore so I'm not allowed to be what I was supposed to be. It's lucky, then, that I have a fertile imagination. Why aren't girls encouraged from the start to be the sexual creatures that we are? My god, just because girls give life to the future generation shouldn't mean that our vaginas suddenly become the sacred property of Whoever He Is who rented your womb for nine months with their sprog. Have you ever felt that you were just a man's Vagina? That your cunt belonged to someone else? I have- but I want to give up feeling like a hole in the matress.

I don't suppose there will be too many men left reading this crap by this stage- hi to any that are- so it may be safe to say this; I don't know- but it sucks when you feel like you are just a hole in the mattress, or that you may as well be for all that it matters who you are- and trust Me, the ones who do it to you don't even notice that you are upset about them banging away without any consideration for who it is that's beneath them.

My Bastard Ex was like that, but then he didn't even like looking at me while he fucked me- he said it 'put him off too much'. I don't think I've ever told anyone about that, but it didn't do a lot for my self-esteem at the time. If my Hubby ever thinks for one moment that I fuck Him like I had sex with my Ex then he can rest assured and sleep easy tonight because that wasn't the case at all. There's just no comparison.

It's pretty hard to feel sexy when you are with someone who believes that all vaginas stink like fish, like my Ex did. And I can promise you that I didn't. Don't. The Only time that women ever smell even the hintiest bit like fish is Only Ever after a man has been down there and splot himself. That is what they can smell. Themselves. Sperm is what smells fishy- not vaginas- but you try telling a man that it's his own cum that stinks. They just don't want to hear it. Funny that.

I don't let just anyone see the Real rn_buffoon in action, either, but I reckon I would have made a pretty good porn star-especially if I was better looking and had a decent set of tits. My stage name would have been Tantrum Denison if I had've been. Well, for some of the time I'd be good at being a porn slut- when I'm not being the Frigid Princess. Maybe I should go easier on Myself.

Nah. Don't you know you can't be both a slut and frigid, Sweetheart. It's technically impossible.

Go figure it out somewhere in the dark...