Jealous Fuck...

I'm sick of feeling like he doesn't want to hear a word I say. He's in a cunt of a mood with me and I don't even know what I've done this time.

Made a comment?

Opened my mouth at him?

Asked him a question?

That would have been all. So he rolls his eyes at me or says that he couldn't give a shit so shut the fuck up about it. But why the fuck should I? Whay can't I say the things that are on my mind to him? Why aren't I allowed to?

He hates the fact that people like me better than they like him. I konw how conceited that sounds but it's true. He's admitted it. He's just said that talking to me is like getting poked in the eye with a stick. Am I so fucked really? He called me embarrassing and said he can't wait until Friday when I am at the concert with J amd he can be alone without me. AT LAST. Let him have his fun without me. I don't care. Go on then. Poke your eye out.

I dare ya.

He'd be so much happier if I'd do what he says. I do Everything for that prick. He appreciates nothing. He obviously doesn't like who I am very much.

Okay; maybe I Have had two many beers and two many cones. But that doesn't make me inane, boring or ridiculous. I still maintain that he's the only person who dislikes me. He put me in the same class as Golden Shower Boy. And that's just Not On folks.

What have I ever done to him but be nice to him? Why can't he take it when I point out to him that he's an arsehole? Isn't it funny how I remember Everything but that I'M the drug-fucked person? You don't want me to be me? Turn around and go through the fucking door then. I'm not a charity you support; no matter what you think.

The worst thing is he means everything he says.

Remember me? I'm the dumb chick who sucks your dick like it's candy and who has never complained once that you aren't worth speaking to. Who do you think you are- that you are more interesting than me? He's already admitted he's as jealous as fuck of me because ALL his friends like me better than they do him. Do you wanna know why?

Because I take an interest.

Because I remember things that are important to them.

Golden Shower Boy was right in away. My Hubby would never stick up for me like he did for M. I don't blame her for that fact- that my Husband prefers her company to mine- but I do feel jealous because of it. Maybe he thinks she deserves respect and I don't. If I speak up that makes me a bitch; so guess what ?

I will be. Starting from now. Youwant to play mean? Nothing you say is interesting. All I hear are the same tired stories of when you were the Popular Kid. Heard it. Over it. Get used to the fact that I am funnier/nicer than you have ever been. Don't be mean just to get back at me for being a better person than you are. EVERYONE likes me. Except for you, Hubby. Fuck off if I'm so shit to be around. You know the house is for me and the kids- you remember your mum telling you that don't you?

Jealous fuck. You can't stop me being me.

You should have seen the face he gave me this afternoon; Did You Just Say ThatTo Me You Bitch? Well yeah; I did. I told you Exactly what I was thinking and you couldn't handle it because I was telling you the truth about who you are when you are around me. A CUNT. Leave me alone arsehole- why be nasty just because you can be? It doesn't make you funny. It makes you desperate for the limelight- is it Your turn to shine, Hubby- you're turn in the fucking spotlight? Have it if you are so fucking needy for the recognition. And get over yourself in the meantime, will ya? Do us all a favour.

In spite of all the shit and mean and awful things you have done and said to me over the years I still love you and choose to be with you; so it is beyond my comprehension why I put up with your crap when I have NEVER deservd it. What did I do to you besides love you to pieces? Carry your beer carton?

I've done everything you ever asked of me and more. If that isn't enough for you then get fucked. I mean it. I've told you before; if you're not interested in how I think then you will never love who I really am. You will always be the one, Hubby. You were the first and only love for me. But I don't care it if ends now either. If that's what you want then just Do It, won't you? Stop threatening to leave me if I won't be who you want me to be. I'm already too ugly for you. Too embarrassing.

Too much more fun; right?

Just tell the truth.