Notice Me Gone...

You know- I'm sick of this.

I don't know why it keeps happening. I want it to stop.

I just know there's going to be an argument tonight. We can't talk without fighting. I thought he said it was all MY problem? That's why he won't go to the counsellor with me; because apparently he doesn't have a problem. The truth is He doesn't want to hear what that lady will tell him. That's why he won't go.

If only he would apologise for hurting me I might be able to forgive him for it. How can I if he feels no remorse for doing what we did in front of the kids? I want US to get help- both of Us need help.

Either that or time apart.

Away from each other for a while. Temporary.

I know it's over for good if we seperate. He'll never figure it out without me around to help him- but if I stay he'll never know what it is to appreciate me because I've never been gone long enough for him to even notice me gone.

I want to tell him that I want this to work out. I want him to know it makes me sad and depressed more than it makes me angry when we fight. It's the things that he says that he can't/won't take back. It's the lack of general nice-ness and total mis-understanding. I don't think anybody cares Less than Him about me. He doesn't care about how I feel.

That's the bottom line.

It was important to me that he come to counselling. I think he should want things better between Us- for the kids as well. How long does he think our Eldest Son is going to stick around if things keep up the way they have been? Doesn't he realise that we'll lose him? To my Mother? That he'll go and live in my old room?

If we don't have a problem- good.

If we don't have any problems we don't need counselling.

So Never tell me the problem that you have with me again.

It doesn't exist.

Right?