Dear Joe

Dear Joe I hope that you read this letter entirely and at least consider what I have to say to you, for I am possibly your only true friend that you now have in your life at the moment. I even hope you share this with your ice whore Melissa. Please feel free do so. I had planned to write it with the pen you bought me from Taronga Zoo but I can't find it so I presume you have taken it back and regifted it, perhaps to Melissa, maybe to the schizophrenic sex slave Bree with her chewed up face, or even the scabby mole you were seen driving in your ute with on Beaumont Street on your way to Hamilton South ghetto that day I was walking up to work. It's a mystery I'll never solve. And I'm sad. Because I really liked that pen you gave me. It wasn't much but it meant something to me as it was the first gift you gave me. Again, you have broken my heart and yet I will not shed a single tear. For you are not Joseph Benjamin Reckwell, the man I love, anymore. You are JBR Kurmpie. You're a meth head and dealer of ice, an insidious poison, that you might believe you have control over but I can guarantee you that you don't. And you are not above the law and it will catch up with you eventually. More worrying to me and your family and people who knew you is the fact that this drug is very quickly destroying your life. You are a 38 year old man with six children who you have nothing to do with...please don't get this iced up bitch get pregnant with lucky number 7..the last thing you need is another child especially born to a crack head mother. I'm aware of your past drug use but don't believe this extended to ice until around July this year, when I now believe Chanelle the party girl probably asked you to score this drug and you began dealing with the scumbag family The Barkers. I guess you also started using this drug yourself around the same time because that was when your behaviour really changed and you dumped me, blaming my drinking instead of confronting your own destructive behaviours. After I begged and pleaded for six weeks you came back..different...and more than likely because Chanelle was not willing to have you move in with her and her son. I can see the pattern now and I realise how you used me. And I knew there was plenty you weren't telling me but I still hoped that I could pull you back from wherever you had gone and you would be my beautiful Joe again. Baby, I know you were just trying to make money. To get ahead and pay your bills. But you had other options. You could have done anything else, you're a tradesman and a bloody good one at that. You could have mowed lawns like 77 year old Darcy. Instead you chose what you thought was the easy option and now are more behind than ever before. You're in a downward spiral and headed for nowhere except a world of pain. I can see that Melissa is your enabler. She won't try and help you out of this because she is a drug fucked user herself. Like her scumbag ex Derek Shelton, whose latest Facebook profile picture looks nothing like the fat-fucker whose picture he sent me while I tried to negotiate with him for over a week to buy back your stolen phone. He's now a drug-fucked scary looking junkie skeleton. In fact the picture Derek sent me of Melissa doesn't look like her anymore either..I guess that is why Dereks parents have her children and she doesn't..and why you really shouldn't be driving around with her little girl while you are under the influence of drugs. Would you do that with any of your five daughters?? Or encourage it? I highly doubt it. You should be ashamed the both of you. Neither do you resemble any of the happy healthy pictures I have of you anymore. Ice has done this to all of you in a very very short space of time. The second last time I saw you was the day after Derek had stolen your phone. I asked you and Melissa straight out if you were sleeping together and you both blatantly lied to my face and said you were just helping her out. You promised me that you would come and see me that night. And then you kissed me goodbye. When I drove up to Tarro that night I was hoping more than anything that your ute would not be there but it was. You chose her over me that night because you are both hooked on drugs..not because you care for each other. You wear a bracelet in support of white ribbon day. Yet the man who put his hands on me that Wednesday night when your slut had me arrested was not you. I am 58 kilos and no match for a man fuelled by ice. I am still in pain three weeks later from when you knowingly crushed my ribs and sternum as you tried to force me into my car. I had many bruises on my forearms and legs which I took pictures of, needed two days off work to recover, and could not hide it from my family, workmates or friends. So I have told them the truth. All of it. And to absolutely Everybody. Even all the shopkeepers of Lambton. I've made facebook statuses with Derek as my anti-drug campaign poster boy.You can hate me for that that but that's ok. You told me I would lose you if I spoke about your drug dealing to anyone but I've already lost what was important to me anyway. You. And I told you I would do absolutely anything to get you away from this life and I don't lie because I don't need to. In hindsight it makes me wonder what you had done to your ex Kate that she would smash a plate into your ear if I could be so angry at you that I tried kicking down a door, stabbing Melissa's glass out of the window with my car key, and then attempting to break the window of your ute. It's a shame I wasn't any stronger or I would have succeeded. You have lied to and manipulated my feelings towards you for the last six months. This time last year you were busy working at the butcher shop with Shaun sorting ham orders. I have never been happier or more in love. Your drug taking has literally destroyed my happiness and I am truly devastated. I thought we had a future together as that was what you led me to believe and all that I hoped for. I have thought all along that you were the one who pranged my car twice, but didn't see the point in raising your ire at the suggestion. I believe it was also you who tore the lining on the drivers side door of my car obviously to stash drugs as you and Nev Barker were using it to transport drugs around. I have a massive suspicion that whoever paid for your flight to Qld also paid you to drive drugs back over the border in what I also suspect was originally a stolen ute before it got blue slipped by some shifty drug fucker, and that you had to be in Qld for four days waiting for the drugs to be delivered. Again I said nothing. Just hoped against hope I was wrong. The life you are leading is not sustainable. It will eventually fall down around you in a big pile of shit. When it does, and it will, I really hope you decide to make a better life for yourself;please just drive Melissa Rotten Box home once and for all to get on with her junkie life...and don't look back. I had Joe at his best..even if the scag slut gets the rest. Then get help for yourself; because you are worth it sweetie. You know where I live and I'm not going anywhere. I don't want a relationship with Junkie Joe, but I am here for you Baby. And when you are ready to ask for my help I will still be there because I will love and care for you like I said. I promised you I would never leave you and I haven't. I won't. I'm still here. And I intend on keeping that promise to you x