I Love Kevin Rudd Day...

I've had a rough few months...

First I got the sack before Xmas, which I'm sure I've told You All about( surely it Can't be that long since we spoke I hope...) but then the supervisor who sacked me quit, so I went into work and asked the Big Boss for a second chance and explained all the reasons why I'd been sacked etc (a lot of which had to do with me giving access to this blog to my ex-boss. Who I thought was a friend;and she was for a time. Big Mistake).

And so they've given me another go...

Go Me.

I've been back now for a few weeks, my back is killing me from making beds again, but at least I'm in the money and the rent is getting paid. It was getting pretty tough there for a while, I ran up both my credit cards to ridiculous and am now in the process of getting financial assistance without having to go bankrupt but not having to pay back all of the interest. It's still going to be tight but hopefully with the Government kicking in their economic stimulus packages I'll get through. Otherwise I might yet turn to the street corner: apparent slut that I am...watch this space.

The kids are good; Eldest Son is in year 11 and still with his girlfriend K. I don't see him very often these days, usually he's only home on Sunday, Monday and Thursday nights. He's still clever and gorgeous; I've not had a day's problem with him yet. Touch wood! Little turned 7 in January; he's lost six teeth and is mad on Lego and Star Wars. He's doing better at school this year too. He misses hubby being here and keeps thinking we will be moving back to the old house soon (it is finally being repaired and fixed; then hubby's parents plan to sell it so they can have a holiday to Italy and then retire; shame they didn't fix it up for me and hubby, we had a lot of fights about that house...I won't say it was the cause of our breakup but it certainly contributed over the years.) Other than that, he thinks we will all be moving into a 'new big house with stairs' very soon. With Daddy. I don't know what to tell him when he tells me that.

So; hubby and I are still apart. I miss him and it's not getting any easier but I know in my head (as opposed to my heart) that I did the right thing. I guess I didn't think we would still be separated after six months. My lease on my little green house was only for six months and initially I thought, by now, that we'd be looking for another house together. I wanted him to try and work things out but I'm the only one who seems to bother. It's me who calls almost every day (even just to say hello or to work out when he can see Little Son or come up and have dinner with me and the kids), me who still suggests we go and see a relationship counsellor. He gets angry and emotional; still puts me down when he thinks he can't control me (perhaps he may just be learning??). I can see he's having a difficult time of it all; he gets very upset and teary a lot and won't open up about what's bothering him. I know what it is, though. He's upset because he thinks I've chosen my friend Tazz over him.

I really like Tazz; but I know He's Just Not That Into Me. Sure, we play cards and drink together every day and have sexual contact on occasion, but he's not that long out of a relationship himself and I know (because he's told me) that he'd be back with his ex in a heartbeat if he could. We get on well; I've told him about you but I doubt you'd be best buddies, especially seeing as he is a mad football fan and goes for the Celtics. (Me, being loyal to you, told him I'm a Ranger's fan; hey I've known you Longer!) . There's a game being played here early Monday morning, and I set his alarm to remind him; I also told him to keep an eye out for behind the Ranger's goal posts; cos I'd tell my mate, T, to pull out her boobs when the Ranger's score. Death to all Hoops. Sister.

Well; what else? Aside and apart from being broke I've scored tickets to go and see Pink in concert on June 4th. I can't wait, but I'm sure I'll get a bit sad when I hear her sing Don't Leave Me. It sums my head up at the moment.

Anyway my Lovely, as usual I'm apologetic for being lazy. I've missed you...write soon.

Talk to you then,

Love,

Miss Construed xx