A New Letter For Wemmaly...

Hey Wemmaly

Thanks for saying hi; I thought that you'd never speak to me again after what happened between us a few years ago. One of my biggest fears,my Dear. I hope you know why I did what I did. And I'm sorry for hurting you.

So you saw my little house; what did you think? I've been here with Littlest and Eldest son's (when is he home?) since Sept 2008. In fact I moved in on my birthday; hubby and I had been arguing heaps before then anyway, and as I briefly told you the other day violence got the better of us about a month before and he ended up putting my head into your blue and white tiered speckly bowls. One of the plates was fully cracked, the big bottom one, which has now gone, but I still have the others on my kitchen table. It served me as a reminder why I'm now living here, but they are still here if you want them back. I had black eyes for a month and couldn't go to work for a week, and even then was only on light duties. His mother even took me up to the hospital but I didn't press any charges. He told me to get out of the Gregory Pde house, so I applied for a few houses though no one would even look at the application, being a single pensioner and with the Chopper Dog to consider. So hubby went on the lease, only to get me this house, but he's never lived here. It's my place. I hated it at first (even though it is only a few minutes walk from 4 pubs) but now I call it my home.

We've tried a few times to reconcile; within the first 4-5 weeks that I moved in he assaulted me again in my loungeroom. Police were called but I didn't have him charged...

Then I started seeing Tazzie; who you met the other day in my loungeroom. He's 45 and my new/best/only friend. He'd been through his own recent breakup and was a mate from down at the Northo before he started coming over, though we've spent a lot of time together over the last 16 months. He's made me a garden. He's a gentleman and a shithead all in one. He's also the biggest bone of contention that hubby has. They have had two punchups; not because Taz wants me as his woman but because he won't see his mate hurt. We've done the drunken sexual thing but for the most part he is just my staunchest friend. He's a steel-fixer by trade but hasn't worked since having his back operation in August, which meant we've spent a lot of time playing cards and Backgammon. He's in love with both his ex's. He doesn't want a relationship or even to hold my hand. But he's my mate. And I like him. Which makes hubby shitty. I get on better with Taz than I feel I ever have with hubby. Tazzie makes me laugh; not cry.

Anyway; hubby assaulted me again last September, held me down and choked me in front of little Son, so I took out an AVO, which he breached twice before Melbourne Cup day. He pled not guilty so it got adjourned until January. Close to the court day he started being nice, in his own mental way, and I started feeling guilty about having him up on assault charges, being as he is the kid's father and all (Taz still doesn't get why I felt guilty).I was subpoened for court but didn't show up, so the charges were dropped. He's in enough trouble as it is, he'd been placed on a 3 year good behaviour bond in November for driving unlicenced,( and since Then, has been caught driving disquailified another two times, due to appear in court in February) There's nothing I can do to get him off this time. He's going to jail for sure; getting his pre-sentance report done as we type. I didn't want to be the one who sent my kid's father to jail. Taz gets angry when I try and protect him from the consequences, that's why he's gone home tonight with the shits at me(on his walking stick...).


I think you're up to speed on my situation now; even if it took me a good hour to type it all out.

So tell me; how are you? How is Willy? I guess you're back in Orange? I hope you're well, chicken, all sorted and happy.
And I was happy to mind your stuff; I kept your elephant in the same spot on the tv exactly where you left it. Elephants don't forget. And neither will I, Wemmaly.
You're as gorgeous as ever.

Can you see the time? It's 12;44 am and I have work in the morning and I'm half pissed. Okay; fully pissed.



Take care my sweet; I hope to talk to you soon

Goof x

Almost Perfect.....

I know I should have done it Myself yesterday...

Fucking men. Hey?

Always fucking up my plans of World domination; and then waking me up when it's not fucking necessary.

Fucking Rude Shits. It must be nice to be Almost Fucking Perfect.

Manners are free you know.

Apply...

Three Long Years...

Following Miss Understood's lead (it was such a good idea) I went through my archives of three years ago;I was a part of her life then and hope to be so for many more years; so for Miss Understood, Grump, and Enchantress; thanks for sticking along for the ride. We've all come a long way.

What A Year It Was...

2006...

Here's an overview of Mine...


1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?

I'm a creature of habit. I rarely try new things. I do pluck my bikini line now, though- something I didn't do in 2005.


2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I think for 2006 it was to try and cut back my drinking. In all I drank on 46 days out of the year- but this was a vast improvement on the previous year where I was drunk on every night of the year- except for one or two when I was too hungover. I compensated with other drugs, however...

As for this year- I'm trying for an orgasm a day for the entire year. Going well.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My little Sister had a baby girl on the 4th July 2006.

My best friend CC had a baby boy on October 3 2006.

Twink's "Sometime-Root" gave birth to a baby boy on Jan 4 2007.


4. Did anyone close to you die?

Old Merley, my mate from the pub who I've been friends with for 15 years, died on April 6 2006 from Lung Cancer. He was 67 and the captain of our Pool Comp team; he was a father to Julie and Kathy; who both knew nothing of his illness until a week before he died.

My Sister and I howled at his funeral.

I miss you, You old Bugger.


5. What countries did you visit?

Australia. Oh hang on, that's Home.


6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

A job.


7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 4th. It was the day Steve Urwin died. I cried every day for a week.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Personally I made a bit of a journey last year. A lot of it came about as the result of having a good close set of friends. I came out of my shell for the first time in years and decided that I liked who I was again.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Smoking too much marijuana and cigarettes. It costs a small fortune and is making me sick anyway.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Pleurisy and lung infections. I also nearly snapped my back in half when I face planted a wall while inebriated.


11. What was the best thing you bought?

I got lots of new things but my favourite is a pair second hand Levi's that I got for fifteen dollars at an Op Shop. My arse looks awesome in these jeans!


12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?


Mine. I was a paragon of goodness as always.


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Golden Shower Boy's. Look up some of my archives if you don't know why.


14. Where did most of your money go?

Car repayments, rent and party drugs.


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to U2.


16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

Body Rockers- I like The Way You Move.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?

Happier. Same. Richer.



18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Writing.



19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Drugs.



20. How will you be spending Christmas?


My house with all the Fam.


21. Did you fall in love in 2006?

Yes; with my Hubby again.



22. How many one-night stands?

None


24. What was your favourite TV program?

Big Brother. I have to go on that show one day.


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Golden Shower Boy. Actually I've always hated him.


26. What was the best book you read?

The Lovely Bones; Alice Sebold.


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Stone Sour- especially the song Through Glass



28. What did you want and get?

A new car.



29. What did you want and not get?

A four wheel drive.


30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Bad Wives Two. Nya Nya Nya.


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was going to go to the Races but it rained so I had a party at my house instead- everyone bought their favourite dish they liked to cook and we had a feast, drank and smoked copious amounts and topped it all off with an acid and ecstasy spree.

I was 33. And should know better!


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

An orgasm a day.


33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Improving yet casual.


34. What kept you sane?

Jen Jen, CC, Miss Fancy Pants, M, Twink, marijuana


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I want Mike Delfino from Desperate Housewives.

And I Still can't go past Gwen Stefani for the femme fantasy...


36. What political issue stirred you the most?

America's handling of the war in Iraq.


38. Who was the best new person you met in 2006?

My newest friend would have to be Sloane.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006?

Don't take good health for granted and appreciate what you have every day.


40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I'm not here for your entertainment; you don't really wanna mess with me tonight

Just stop and take a second; I was fine before you walked into my life

Cos you know it's over; before it began

Keep your drink just give me the money; it's just You and your hand tonight!

Pink.


And That's a wrap for 2006!

To Quote A Scroatian...

"Manners cost nothing..."

"Relationships are two-way streets..."

"Get fucked. Fuck off."

(And my Personal favourite...)

"What part of 'Get Fucked' don't You understand?"

Sort of glad you walked home...

Actually.

My Message To Him...

If you came here to cut the fucking grass then Don't Fucking Bother.

I can do it my fucking Self; thanks anyway.

You can take whatever plants you fucking want.

I don't need another fucking Judge.

A Friendship Is a relationship...

It's up to You if you want mine anymore; Or not.

Fuck it must be nice to Think you are perfect...

Letter For T...

Hey T

No pictures have I seen...(very Yoda of me to say so) so please resend them if at all opssible. (I'm going to leave that little typo, haha, too pissed to press backspace).

Hanging out means he's very comfortable being around you; just, "chilling" you know? He likes your company and likes to be with you. It's a good sign at least! I thought it was a saying everyone used; so it must be an Aussie slogan if you haven't heard it often. Anyway; although absence makes the heart grow fonder; I know you and know you'll be sweating on his return, but do me a favour Girly, and make sure you enjoy the festive season and New Year's in the typical T fashion; because I reckon this one will be back. He's an Aussie and therefore has taste!

My work party was fun; we went on a dinner cruise around Newcastle harbour for about three hours but I'd been on the piss already for most of the day with Sally; she's 24 and doesn't ever drink so I drank for both of us; I think I even made her laugh a few times!; I also tried my very first oyster (very lemoned up but I actually had three in the end...Taz was very impressed when I told him.) My friend LW lost a shoe overboard and so chucked the other one in after it. Our maintenance guy Robbie (our House-Elf) was maggoty and singing Suspicious Minds; he does a great Elvis. The food was great; we all(25 0f us) got $50 in a card (this was from the $1000 that I found in a bar-fridge and Stoopidly handed in, the Boss decided to split it between Everyone, even the kitchen staff who have nothing to do with the housekeeping department; oh well, I've learned if I ever find a large sum of money again I'm going to stick it in the bible in the bedside table; nobody ever reads, it'd be safe there!) Anyway; everybody had a great night out; thanks to me!

I stayed at the hotel where I work for the night as my mate LB got a room for being Employee of the Month (there are 3 L's at work; the other is my boss LR); then we all had room service for breakfast (and we got charged extra even though I carried it all up myself; bloody Brett who owns the restaurant is a Wanker!) Even Robbie crashed in our room( we took funny pictures of the four of us (me, Sally, LB and Rob) in the spa and in bed); he tried to go out to King Street with the young girls who work in the restaurant but couldn't get in and they left him; so our General Manager picked him up and drove him back to the hotel.

Today I was fragged even though I didn't drink much more than usual; we all worked but then I still had to go to my secret second night job (cleaning offices at PH) and when I got home Taz was snoring on the lounge. Just another day!

It's late so I'll go; but don't forget to send those pics; I want to see The New Guy!

Love ya honey

rn_buffoon xx

Christian-Insanity...

Last night I rang...

Apparently, allegedly and very often unsuccessfully, fifty two times to Get Though to Taz.

Imagine that; fifty-two times...

According to Taz, even though the year now is 2009 , and only now is it 2009 because it is almost 2010 years since the benefactor of the Christian religion (JC himself) was born; this is a non-event. To Myself at least. And yet it happened. Just as there was the historical figure of Queen Cleopatra. Or Plato. I know he was born; not in a stable; surrounded by lambs or the three wise men, but in the poor village of Bethlehem, shrouded in blood and after-birth like every other Cunt who had to go through it without drugs or anesthehtics, and who later was applauded by the religious fanatics of Nazareth(his Apostles); he was a child of impoverishment who came to be known as the Son of god.

Nowadays, especially when the human population have become so scientifically aware, he would be known as a religious Crank. And that is as it should be. Relegated to the ranks of such others as David Koresh and those who claim to be the Son Of god.

Joseph and Mary had an illegitimate child; theory says she was raped by a Roman soldier and Joseph saved her from being stoned to death, such was the penalty for an unwedded woman and supposed virgin. Kudos to Joseph. What a guy. Chivalry today really is Dead. When it happened to me; I was told I was slut. Even by my child's father. They would have stoned me. Dead. For fucking sure.

I agree. About Christinaty. It's an non-event. The beginning of a cult that wouldn't/hasn't/won't go away, even though the Leader-Guy of the cult died just over two millennium ago.

And that's when it, Christian-Insanity should have ended, too.

According to Me.

According to Taz; Jesus was a Myth.

He wasn't a god. He merely believed he was the incarnate Son of some god.

He is, and was, a historical figure who Got It Wrong about god, a Cult leader who didn't die even though he was crucified for his influential yet unsubstantiated beliefs. Yes:BELIEFS. That's all they were were. Nothing substantiated. Nothing proved.

I don't believe in god but Jesus existed. He wasn't a Myth.

He was real...

And so was Julius. And Cleopatra.And Shakespeare.

The rest my friend; is History.

Herstory.