Crashing And Burning...

I hate coffee. I'm no authority on the subject; I've never made Myself a cup- because it looks and smells like mud. I've never liked Peanut Butter either; though I can't actually remember ever trying it. Except for one time. Sort of.

It was the night of the Earthquake and we are at Knob's house. I'm not drinking but everyone else is- I hardly drank at all back then; in fact I'd only ever been drunk once before in my life. That was a few weeks earlier; I got really pissed on Vodka and pashed a guy with a really big nose. Huge. He's the first guy I ever kissed; twenty five times all up- to be precise...

We'd been watching the guys rehearse the song Wild Flower all afternoon in the hall they hire for Band practice. They are called Burn and are pretty serious about making it big one day. It's Knob's boyfriend's band. (I really should consider giving her a new name I suppose- seeing as we never called her that to her face.) He's the bassist and sometimes sings back-up for Foxy- who is the real talent among them; guitar-wise at least. Bbbb's just gotten onto the young drummer from the band- and I'm on with the rhythm guitarist. I know. Cool, huh?

It's the first time that either of us have kissed a guy and Everytime she walks past me she holds her fingers in gestures letting me know how her tally is progressing. I do the same and soon overtake the lead. Kissing's not what I thought it would be like, though. The guy I'm with is almost choking me with his tongue as he tries to force it further down my throat- but I presume this is what kissing is all about and so I don't complain. I've been waiting for this day to happen since I was born, I reckon, and even his lack of technique wasn't going to ruin it for Me...

After a while, though, I get sick of kissing him- the Vodka's wearing off and his nose keeps getting in the way; and also because I've got a wicked Pash-Rash. And we all know how that feels. I think he wanted to 'get onto' me the next time he saw me too, but I had other news for him. He ended up going out with Nic for a few years- they even lived together for a while; the nose obviously didn't bother her that much.

But that night- back at Knob's party- I was on with the same Drummer Boy that Bbbb had been with previously. She'd already moved on and didn't care in the slightest- and though his technique was definitely better than the guy with the big beak his kisses are still nothing to write home about.

For a start he has been eating peanuts- recently- there are still some pieces on his tongue and they are getting in my mouth. Heaps of them. All I can think of is that he has smeared a stripe, or a dollop perhaps, of Crunchy Peanut Butter on a butter knife and then wiped it clean on his tongue.

And now it's swirling around in my mouth and I don't even like Satay Chicken...

He's been drinking Rum and Cola; it washes his mouth clean and the experience of kissing him again is pleasant enough the next time. But then I see him near the Nut bowl again and I realise that I don't think I can go through with another kiss with him if he eats even one more peanut; even though he's really good looking and interesting enough to talk to- for a drummer.

I decide to lead him into Knob's bedroom, where we sit on the floor and make out in the dark. That's all I wanted to do- after all, he's only the second guy I've ever kissed; I'm hardly ready to think about having sex with someone on the first night I'm with them; well, not This time anyway. I didn't think it was unreasonable to just want to kiss each other in the dark.

Not that I think that's what he was really trying to do- have sex with me- I think he just wanted to absently probe me in various orifices for a while until he got bored; but I wasn't letting anyone near my Virginhood- for want of a better word- and kept moving and removing his groping hands from the various places he was intent on probing.

I suppose I turned all prissy and frigid...

So he left Me in there by Myself and went outside and told all the other boys in the band that I was a cock-tease. That, of course, was a lie. I hadn't touched his cock. Not once.

I'm glad of it now; but at the time I was pretty humiliated. Which was why it was so satisfying when, a few years later, he tried to kiss me again. It was so much fun telling him that I wasn't interested in him in the slightest anymore.

And the best thing was that I really meant it...