Zoot's Last Video...

Dano and me are sitting in Knob's kitchen. It doesn't really matter who Knob was or why that was her name; just know that it was her seventeenth birthday...

It's getting late and most of the party-guests have already left; my future Hubby amongst them. I'm glad he at least showed up. It's a promising little development in this little saga of ours- even though he probably only came over to drink the free beer. He's not my boyfriend, yet- and I'm upset that he didn't want to take me home to have sex with him tonight. He's gone now and it's all Knob's fault- she kept asking him embarrassing questions about Me, and wanted to know why he won't commit to be in a relationship with me. I could have killed her when she later said that she thought my Hubby liked her better than he like me. As if he would.

Our 'friend' Zoot has passed out on the lounge- that's what we honestly called him; he looks exactly like the Muppet of the same name. And I say 'friend' because no one really knew that much about him. We hadn't known him for very long and he was fairly shy on account of his long curly red hair and his hare-lip. Not that we ever actually mentioned it to him...

A little earlier in the evening he had been filming a video of the party in full swing; busting the people who were making out in various bedrooms and catching out a few others who were throwing up in the front garden- so that we can all watch it again in the morning and remember how drunk and stoned we all got tonight. Dano is preparing the oven for the six frozen Fish Fingers that we have found at the bottom of the freezer, but after only a few minutes we decide that we are too hungry to wait for them to cook, and they are only half-thawed as we devour them with a smear of 333's pickles.

We've already eaten a packet of cheeses slices and a loaf of bread, three Muesli Bars each and half an Apple Danish. That was after we had stripped the barbecue chicken back to a bare carcass and polished off two pieces of questionable pizza. What's even more hilarious is the fact that we know we have almost eaten Knob's entire shopping for the week until her mother gets back from being away on holidays- and we are laughing so hard that our bulging guts are threatening to burst. Knob hasn't noticed because she's inside rooting her boyfriend in her mum's bed.

We bloatedly crawl over to where Zoot is sleeping, and wake him up, urging him to film us as we raid the kitchen some more as we describe our earlier forage to the viewing public- which was exactly what we were doing as Knob bursts half-naked onto the camera shoot and starts yelling angrily at us for eating all her food. I wish I could see that again; I don't know what happened to the video, though...

About six weeks after Knob's party Zoot bought himself a little Tabby kitten...

And the next day he jumped off the roof of a six storey building.

Or so I was told.