Pink And Wrinkly...

Joey and Bbbb are sitting in the car with Yobbo and Mong; out of the wind. I really wish I had worn something warmer. It's freezing cold- and Dano and I are sitting on top of the picnic table near the skateboard ramp. I've got my arms wrapped around my knees to try and keep warm; never mind that I'm only wearing a mini-skirt...

She whispers to me that she really likes the guy in the Skid Row shirt, and I tell her that I've got my eye on his friend- the one with the shortest hair amongst them. We agree to discreetly find out for each other how they feel about us- and while I had no luck for her she came back and told me that the guy I liked really wanted to go for a walk with me.

I'm sober and scared. I hardly ever kiss a guy unless I'm really drunk- what if I forget how to do it and look like an idiot?

She half-pushes us together, making the first move for us- making us hold each other's hand-and we nervously set off up to the Beach Pavilion to have our little 'talk'. I ask him about the ring that he's wearing on his middle finger; it's heavy gold and has a dolphin encircling it. He takes it off and lets me hold it for a moment- and tells me that his grandmother bought it for him when he visited her in Italy a few years ago...

There wasn't a lot of chemistry but I kissed him for the rest of the night anyway- and when he asked if he could call me tomorrow I didn't deliberately change any of the numbers. For the next two weeks I considered him to be my boyfriend; and while our relationship didn't last very long it was certainly memorable.

He picked me up from school every afternoon on the way home from his Cartoon Class at TAFE. He came and watched me play netball one night and then we had dinner with his mum and dad. He came into where I worked and I made him a chocolate thickshake. And then I started to realise that I didn't really want to kiss him anymore- and the thought of doing anything more than kissing him was starting to get worrying.

We were all at a party, the whole gang of us- and I am kissing him on the beanbag that I later learnt was the dog's bed. We're under a blanket-which came out of the house in case you are playing along-and he's unbuttoned three of the top buttons on the shirt I'm wearing, which I've borrowed off my Sister. He's got about thirty-seven to go and he doesn't stand a chance. I've already decided that I like the same guy that Everybody Else does- the guy in the Skid Row shirt- more than I like my boyfriend.

I ask him if he'll go inside to get me another drink, and he does, so I take the opportunity to seek out his mate to drunkenly chat and flirt with. When my boyfriend returns he asks me if I want to head back to the beanbag, but I've had more than enough of kissing him now. Everyone else has wandered inside out of the cold except for us. We're standing beside the garage when he takes my hand and tries to make me hold his dick, which has magically appeared from out of nowhere. He's got a semi-on; which has got absolutely Nothing to do with wine, let Me assure you...

When I grab my hand back he urges me to 'Go on; give it a go'; and I tell him I can't give him head- or anything else-because his dick is all Red and Blotchy. He got a bit offended, I think, and we sort of broke up there and then. I later heard that he told everybody what I had said about his dick; then he allegedly told them that my vagina was all Pink and Wrinkly.

It may well be that.

But he never saw it or touched it; so how the fuck would he know?