Stolen Kisses...

Stan the Man was in the Navy...

The first night I met him we got drunk together at Horseshoe Beach- drinking OP Bundy straight out of the bottle; then chasing it down with a big swig of Coke. I can tell straight away that he likes me; we are bouncing insults off each other. He's joking that I'm just a little girl who can't handle my piss; and even though he's more correct than he knows I keep up well enough with all the boys.

The bottle isn't long empty; Stan's been trying to kiss me for a while but I'm not really that interested even though I'm flirting pretty hard. I'm just having fun being pissed and sixteen. After a bit I really start to feel the effects of the booze, so I decide to lie down in the back of Mong's Torana because I realise I'll be sick if I don't. Stan comes over and tells me to sit up and I warn him to leave me where I am, and that if he tries to move me I'll more than likely vomit- but he ignores my warning and tries to sit me up anyway; like a little dead rag-doll...

He realises, too late, that I was being deadly serious when I spew all over his brand new white Levi Jeans and ,somehow, through my own hair and the backseat of the car; but I'm too sick to apologise or even care that much, for that matter. I had tried to warn him after all; he just thought he knew Me better than I knew Myself.

I'm driven by Someone to Numbnut's house- while Stan goes home to change; but those white jeans of his are ruined- never to be seen again. Numbnut's Dad is nowhere to be seen, either, thankfully- and I have a two hour shower; sitting slumped naked on the tiles with the tepid water washing over me from above. Apparently I went through a whole bottle of shampoo And conditioner. And I can't remember how I got Myself home- but that's not unusual either. Mong probably drove me...

Surprisingly- the next time I meet up with Stan he was still talking to me- and even apologised for helping me to get so drunk; but he does say that he will Never drink Bundaberg Rum with me anymore. Ever again. And that's just fine with me, because to this day I still can't stomach the smell of it- even if it is only on someone's breath. That's probably The main reason why I wouldn't have considered having a relationship with him; that- and the fact that he wasn't my type and I didn't find him attractive- sexually at least.

Early on in the piece I drunkenly kissed him a few times- but I always made it clear that I was only actually interested in having a friendship with him. He'd get really jealous when I was 'on' with other guys, too; which was why I tried really hard to hide the fact from him that who I really liked was his best friend; Ed.

One weekend they were both on leave from their ships- and so he bought home one of his mates for a visit. Ed was also in the Navy; they had met when they were doing basic training at Cerberus a few years before. I liked him immediately- he's boyishly cute with a cheeky smile that shows off his slightly crooked teeth. And he's outgoing and friendly- the whole group instantly takes to him- in fact we liked Ed better than we liked Stan most of the time...

At first nothing happens between us- I was still a virgin and we'd only just met after all; and then he was suddenly shipped off to the Persian Gulf on board The Supply. While he was away at the First Gulf War we only heard of him through Stan- who was quite miffed that he had missed out on Active Duty; so it was a huge relief to see Ed in the flesh when he finally returned from his Tour about ten months later.

While he had been away at sea I had met my Hubby and had been casually seeing him for a few months; but as I've told you before he wasn't all that interested in Me. He still wasn't my boyfriend yet, though; don't forget. I know- it's confusing for Everyone I tell- but that's exactly the way it happened, I promise.

I really like Ed, though, so I figured if my one-day-to-be-Hubby wasn't interested in being my boyfriend then I would have been next happiest with Ed. At least he was interested in me back.

Our relationship was unreal- even if it were only short; full of fun times and good laughs- we tried to hide our obvious attraction from Stan and I think we did a reasonable job at it- because he never found out that we had ever been together until I drunkenly rubbed it in a few years later...

But every week- for six weeks- Ed sent me a letter with a postmark from Woolloomooloo, and we looked forward to the weekends when he and Stan were off duty and the times we could secretly be together again. I know it sounds really conceited- but Stan really did like me that much- so much so that we both knew he would have felt betrayed by both of us if he had guessed the extent of our relationship; which had by now gone beyond stolen kisses on the veranda when we knew Stan wouldn't catch us.

I can still see the look in Ed's eyes as he first noticed me as I was walking towards him- on the first and only 'night' that we ever had together. I'm wearing a cute black and white dress that is showing off my long tanned legs. I've borrowed it off my friend, and she's curled and teased the shit out my hair because she's a hairdresser and can do those sorts of things. Ed and Mong are drinking in the car park outside the pub. They're expecting us but I can tell that he's still surprised to see me. I notice that Stan's not with them- and Ed explains that he had to work at the last minute and wouldn't be coming out at all that night. We had a great time drinking and dancing and sneaking around in public, finally, away from Stan's jealous eyes. Not that we were technically doing anything wrong. Neither Stan nor my Hubby were my boyfriend; I wasn't interested in Stan and my Hubby wasn't interested in me until almost three years after all of this happened. See; so I was a Free Agent...


I can remember at one point falling over on the dance floor; I'd asked Rusky the DJ to play I Touch Myself by The Divinals and it's just begun playing when I leap up and realise too late that my foot has fallen asleep in it's too-small shoe; and it collapses under my weight- and though I fell arse over tit I didn't even spill a drop from my drink. Ed grabs me by the hand and tries to help me up and as we are laughingly falling about we kiss then and there- out on the dance floor. All of our friends have noticed and are elbowing each other- it's been obvious to everyone but Stan that we've been itching to be together and were only waiting for the chance when it's not throwing it in Stan's face.

I quickly become shit-faced- but we stay until the band has finished and the pub has closed- Ed's been the one going up to the bar and buying our drinks- and this time, when he comes back, he tells me that he's just paid for a room upstairs; and asks me if I'd care to put into practice all the suggestions I'd been whispering into his ear all night.

I'm so glad I did.

Not that the sex that night was as great as I'd been promising him; I even managed to fall asleep while we were at it- though I know I made up for that, twice, in the morning. Later- in the cramped hotel shower he shows me the beautiful tattoo of a tiger that he has on his chest that he got in a stop over in Malaysia- the detail is amazing; I can even see the capillaries in it's eyes.

That was the last time I saw him...

After he dropped me home in a cab that morning he went back to ship and sailed away to Tasmania where he met- and now lives- with his wife. He wrote and told me about her when they first met- it wasn't even that serious then. But I wrote him a letter back, saying never to write to me again, and I told him that I never wanted to see him ever again, either. And I never have.

I know. I'm a jealous little person...

But that's why I'm so glad that we at least had sex those few precious times- because to this day Ed's the only guy who I ever had a one-night-stand with who was still interested enough to have sex with me again in the morning; without feeling the need to chew his arm off or run away. He's the only one who still wanted to be with me again when he was sober. So even though that's a sad little truth right there, I had to tell You about Ed for that fact alone. Because it made him different from everyone else I've ever slept with- my Hubby included.

When Stan found out- a few years later- that me and Ed had been bed-buddies in a hotel room that night he got quite jealous and drove off in a huff- with his tyres squealing rubber. I don't know why; I was never His...

I was glad Ed hadn't said anything, though; it made him even more special to me.

Me and Stan remained friends for more than twelve years anyway; until only a few years ago, actually. I don't even know what happened there; but I guess he finally gave up on the idea of being with me. At last.

Yay.