The Hunt...

I'm sitting in the Tree-house with Dano, Rowie and Daz. It's Daz's tree and Rowie is another one of his mates- but Mister James isn't here; so we've walked six kilometres for nothing. Oh well; there was nothing better to do anyway...

I'm pressing Rowie for information- what was the last time they saw him, what was he up to and where was he going after that and what exactly was he wearing. There's still a few other places that we can check out before I'm willing to call off the Hunt; the three pubs down the road will do for a start.

I take out my packet of Dunhill smokes and offer one to Dano before she has the chance to scab it. I'd rather offer her one than feel shitty at her. It seems like everyone's run out of smokes except for me; the guys both bumming a fag off me as well. ( I had to keep that once I wrote it.) Now I've only got five left; so I decide to smoke them all. At least then no one else can. Daz tells me I'm just being wasteful as I light them up at once; five together they are as thick as a short cigar in my mouth, but they are burning unevenly and I finish them at differing intervals.

The conversation has turned to the fact that Mister James has been avoiding my company for the last few times that I've tried to meet up with him; though he hasn't yet been openly hostile towards me- he just disappears into the night and I don't really know why, especially when we seemed like we were getting on so well. I ask Rowie if he knows why; I like Rowie- he's honest and always smiling. Unlike Daz- who I can tell sometimes secretly laughs behind my back. I suppose Mister James might have told him about how I throw myself at him when I'm drunk because I love him so desperately. I guess he laughs because he knows that Mister James isn't interested in being my boyfriend...

It's Rowie who spells it out for me- or tries to- but I try and convince him he's wrong anyway. You don't keep sleeping with someone unless you really like them- even if it's only just a little bit. They tell me that if he liked me so much that he wouldn't be sleeping with that other chick as well; well, this is the first thing that I've heard about her. They call her Nissa and I hate her already. How dare that bitch come between me and Him.

I know that I've got to find him; sooner rather than later. Before I go I stub the final burning cigarette out on my knee- pressing firmly into the flesh; grinding the red-eye into my skin. Rowie tells me not to be so stupid and I tell him I can't feel it anyway. And I'm only half-lying.

Dano and I leave the Tree-house and purposefully walk around the streets; stopping in at all the nearby local pubs in a last ditch attempt to find him for me. I'm ranting about this Nissa chick; while Dano tries to reason with me that even though it's a slackarse act Mister James isn't technically my 'boyfriend' and so isn't doing anything all that wrong. I know he's not my boyfriend; that's what the problem is- how can he be with someone else when I'm so in love with him. I'm more than ready to be his girlfriend- all he has to do is Start liking me and Stop fucking this other chick.

He's not at any of the pubs we try, and once we are broke we walk home again- wishing we had kept ten dollars aside for a taxi. Dano's trying to convince me that the Bike Track is actually the shortest way- and I agree with her but only so we can drink the bottle of wine that she has in her bag. We don't have a bottle opener- but we do have a skewer- which we use to dig out the cork, piece by piece. Afterwards, as we are sipping the wine through chunks of floating cork, I tell her that I'm over it. Him. I can't be bothered chasing him all over Town when he obviously has no interest in me- there's always another fish out there in the sea. And then, when we got back to my house, we made ourselves a bowl of spaghetti and tomato sauce- it's not actually as bad as it sounds- while we talked up ways to find out who this Nissa scrag was...

Obviously though, I didn't listen to my own advice; and continued to stalk Him for the next year and a half; until our Son was born. After that happened I found that I really didn't have the time or dedication that's needed to be a professional Stalker, as I could only pursue him when I had a babysitter.

And by then I had already decided that he Really didn't want to be with me, and so I sort of gave up on him for a while.

And that's when I met up with my Bastard Ex...