Options...

Last weekend could be summed up in a few texts...

Him: I'm sorry I didn't want to cause problems. I want to see you thru the week. Can I?

Him: I can't wait I already wish I was still there. I'll give you a call and come visit. You sound good Beautiful.

Him: Okay then Gorgeous. I'll give you a call. Sorry if I made things difficult I didn't want to. I'll make it up to you when I see you okay.

Him: How bad am I? What you mean?

Him: Yeah I'll come over; give the real thing tomorrow.

Him: Good morning Gorgeous how are you feeling. What are you up to how would you like a visitor today?

Him: Can't do the Pub today have to go to footy later. Was thinking of popping in and saying hello. Continue from where we left off last night.

Him: Tell him to leave. Hehe. I wish too. I wish I didn't leave last night I wanted to stay.

Now...

He's not the nineteen year old...

And I haven't heard from him since...

Still; a Girl's gotta Love having Options.

My Advice To Hubby...

Go tell Someone who gives a Flying Fuck.

My Life...

Trust Me...

This is No fantasy.

You Can't make this shit up.

He Was Only Nineteen...

He may have well have said...

"Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks and now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
I look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, do you, d-d-do, do you want to come?
Scooch on over closer dear, I'll whisper in your ear
Oh yes love, love love love love love
Love you love, love you love

I've been spending way too long tricking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me
(I won't hesitate)
Open up your plans and damn you're free
(No more, no more)
I look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need
(There's no need to complicate)
There's no need to complicate
(Our time is short)
'Cause our time is short
(This is our fate)
This is, this is, this is our fate
I'm yours, I'm sayin' I'm yours..."

Lyrics by

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

...And For Those of You Really Paying Attention...

He was only ( and I Only just found out) 19.

Damn You, Redgum.

This Time...

He Ain't coming back.

The Living Fuckers...

Bowes: Are you okay?

Bowes: Hubby get home alright?

Bowes: As real as it gets. I miss you already.

Bowes:I'll give you The Other.

Bowes: Yeah come over.

Bowes:Don't worry I must be missing something.

Bowes: Hi Miss Construed.

Bowes: I don't know what to think sorry Miss Construed.

Bowes: Caring.

Bowes: I really do.

Bowes: Does it bother you?

Bowes: Oh; what to do...

Bowes: It would be good to lay down with you though.

Bowes:Well...

Bowes:He guessed What?

Bowes: It don't matter. I want you.

Bowes: But I wouldn't let him.

Bowes: Was it wrong to do so?

Bowes: On what?

Bowes: I think I love you what should I do?

Bowes: I do. It hurts.

Bowes: I hope you really mean that.

Bowes: What do we do now?

Bowes: I'll never forget.

Hubby: You have just been give up.

Hubby:Get out of my house then.

Hubby: It's your behaviour thats put you in this now pack up and fuck off.

Hubby: Do the right thing for once pack your bag and go its over.

Hubby:Your mum will come and get you. Best go...

...


Or fucking What?

Are you going to come home and punch the living Fuckers out of me?

Fucking Fantastic...

He Wasn't the Welsh Guy...

Still; he tasted fucking Fantastic.

Life From A New Perspective...

Death Is...

Life from a new perspective.

And just because you Don't Want To Do It doesn't mean that you don't Have To..

The Good News is; that It isn't All in my head.

The Bad News is; CT scans don't lie.

Not that it matters; but I'm a Philosopher..

I have a fucking degree.

So fucking Listen Up. Children.

Do you know how fucking embarrassing it is to get beaten up?

What it's like to wear sunglasses Inside?

What it's like to present Yourself at an emergency room?

And to have someone identify You and tell your friends before You could?

And then let him off the hook by Not pressing charges?

If Someone was here...

I'd tell them that it's My blood on the carpet. I 'd show them where my head fell on the stone plate. I'd even point out the crack. I'd say that the car is gone now but I've kept your stuff safe. I would hope they would understand My actions. I'd want them to know I'd have to do the same again. Given the choice.

If He was awake and being kind...

I'd ask him to tell me Again how I asked for it.

I'd want to know how he can look at Me and say such awful things to my face.

I'd ask him to say that I'm Ugly. A Fuckwit.

A Druggo. Call the cops on me then; like you've promised.

Stand next to me while I hail you a Liar.

I'd like to see that...but I know it won't happen.

Why else do You think I didn't have you arrested?


I protected you; after what You did.. .

Why else do you think people Pity me?

I am laughed at; for staying with you.

And how can I expect Them to respect me when I Forget my train of Thought?

Because I put up with it. And I stay.

They all see it. They all want me to leave you.

Now Tell me again; Why do you want me to Stay?

News Just In...

I'm going to have to dog the Bitch out.

For those Following Along At Home...

Employee Of The Month...

Goes to....

Drum Role...

Sometimes I Feel So Insignificant!

No Shit.

For being Too Good To Her Employees.

Meanwhile...

Some of the girls have five shifts in a row this week.

I have One rostered shift.

She told us at the staff meeting she can get rid of us at any time.

Guess it's my Turn.

Take A Bow (FuckFace)...

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and Take a Bow

Lyrics By Rhiannon...

Love Song...

Head under water
And they tell me
To breathe easy for awhile
But breathing gets harder
Even I know that
Made room for me
It's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you ask for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay aaaaaay
If all you have is leavin'
Imma need a better reason
To write you a love song
Today
Today ayyyyy

I learned the hard way
That they all say
Things you wanna hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and Your twisted words
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leavin'
Imma need a better reason
To write you a love song today

Promise me
You'll leave the light on
To help me see
The daylight my guide upon
Cause I believe
There's a way
You can love me
Because I say

I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you ask for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one
You see I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to write you a love song
Today.
Today. ayyyyyy yeah, yeah

Love Song
Lyrics by Sara Bareilles

A True Cunt...

Hubbby just informed Me that "Everyone that you think likes you thinks that You're a True Cunt".

So what does that make Him?

Miss Construed Again...

What I wrote on my blog was that I had had the Chat at work; over my Boss's concerns of me having to take time off work for getting two black eyes and not being able to go the next day...if I had had a car crash I don't think the same chat would have happened.

However by the time she read my blog again I had already been busted out having a cigarette break that I wasn't allowed to have- rather her daughter dobbed us is; we weren't even caught in the act., She took this rather personally, obviously, that we don't respect her rules; that's what she was referring to when she said I had no respect for either myself or her. That's when I went to her blog, she's never given me the address for her site but once you comment on a blog your own address is visible unless you've blocked it) and saw what she had written about me. I hadn't written any of mine in malice towards her.My blog is about my god-awful relationship with Hubby; and my friends at the Pub. I do it anonymously and I hardly mention work. She not only Got It Wrong about me; she published it. I'm not an Ice-addict. She slandered me on the internet, even though it's anonymous I know she's referring to me. If I'd had the foresight I would have copied it and sent it to the Big D but that would only have caused more shit. We have a staff meeting in the morning. I'm going to cop the majority of the heat; just as I foretold. She's done it before and now it's my turn.

Anyway; that's why I wanted to go out and get pissed on Friday night. To have a good night. I was home just after twelve but my alarm didn't wake me up. Sorry for taking out my shit on you. But I'm up to my neck in it. And now; the tea break is over. Back on my head.

Miss Construed x

Hanging In There...

First up...

A Big thanks to You All for your comments and thoughts over the last few weeks. It really has meant a lot to Me.

Secondly; sorry I haven't been posting anything of late. At first it was all too difficult and I didn't want to have to think about any of the shit; then it became apparent that my Boss had decided to use my personal life against me in an attempt to flush me from the system. I wish I had the foresight to bookmark her blog when I had the chance; I only came across it by chance after she left a comment on my last posting (she hadn't told me she even Had a blog). Well; I looked it up, didn't I? And she'd written some pretty nasty stuff about me. I went back into the comment today but she's removed the links somehow. I'm predicting she did it as soon as she noticed that my blog is open to invited readers only. Lucky for her, really; as I was planning to copy and paste what she had written about me into an email and send it to our Big Boss. I'm sure She would have loved reading about herself, too.

Nevermind. I've just realised that work and blogs don't mix. And if she asks (She being Sometimes I Feel So Insignificant from my last posting's comment) then I will just have to tell her that I've decided to keep my personal life private from now on. And that I'll keep my Boo Hoo Sob Story to myself. And that I have Never asked for her sympathy. And that I've Never even tried Ice so am certainly not addicted to it. And that Far From doing a slap happy attempt at my job so I can race down to the Pub after work before picking up my kids I actually Run Circles around her fat, lazy, work-shirker of a daughter. And herself. There. I feel better now.

And know You All know why I have closed my blog to the Uninvited; and why she has chosen to hide her's from Me. I noticed when I read her's that Grump had also followed the link and left a comment; perhaps he also read her 'work' and can verify the awful things she wrote about Bruce (that's the nick-name the girl's gave me at work after my new name badge came back with the wrong name on it; so I know for a fact she was referring to me. And who else had recently been bashed to a pulp by her partner?)

I've started looking for another job; which is a shame as I really like all the girl's I work with(especially Suey and my best mate M) aside, now, from J and Moo, her daughter. She was the one who got me and Suey into shit the other day for sneaking out for a cigarette (J wasn't even there; we weren't even actually 'busted' in the act). I thought about dobbing Moo in to her mother as payback; J doesn't know that Moo only recently gave up smoking herself. Or that Moo likes Ekkies as much as I do. But I'm not a bitch. Or a Dobber.) No; it's just time to move on. J has already cut back on my shifts; it's what she does when she wants to push someone out the door. Starves them of shifts. I saw her do it to Narelle. And Lorraine. And Janelle. And Mychelle. And Christine. Now it's my turn. I estimate I only have two or three more weeks.

That said; I am all recovered from my beating (I still can't write about it,sorry)...

The Twins have arrived and are so small...

I had an absolute Ball at the Brick Throwing contest...

I didn't fall in love with my Mate, Bowes (thanks for the question, Miss U)...

The Welshman is hot but already Taken...

Hubby has agreed to Anger Management...

Eldest Son is turning sixteen next week (yikes)...

And my tax return is in.

As for Me...I'm hanging in there.

Randomness...

I only want to say this once; So.

In random order...

I lost my keycard.

My engine broke.

I stayed at Jen Jen's.

I threw a PB.

I was a gimp.

I was bashed.

My boss gave me The Talk.

I cooked lasagna.

My sister had twin daughters.

I bought my dog a new coat at the Markets.

My mate at the Pub fell in love with me.

I admired a Welsh guy...