The Rumours Are True...

Things have been going good with Damon; he stayed over the last two nights and will probably turn up tomorrow again, as well, if he caught my subtle little hint that I would be home alone.

Pubtown is rife with rumours...

Golden Shower Boy, Twink and Fido have all been giving Damon death stares. I suppose as hubby's mates they are entitled to think I've wronged hubby in some way. I know it's been killing him and eating him up inside; the Wondering.

Of Just Who it is I'm fucking.

So we sit on different sides of the Pub and let them all think what they want.

Because it's no one's business but ours who we are rooting.

Hubby came up to my house on Thursday; just so we could fix up a problem with our mobile phone provider. I cancelled the plan we had been on and got his old number released so that he could go back to Vodaphone. He left and went to the Pub with Twink. Mac is moving out of the house he's shared with Twink for five years and hubby is moving into Mac's old room. He seems relieved he'll be out of his mother's.

An hour later I was sitting out the back with a glass of wine (smiling at the thought of watching Damon eating a piece of caramel slice) when hubby appeared around the corner of the house again. I asked him what he'd forgotten. He said Nothing and then sat down; telling me as he did that he wasn't here to start an argument.

(NB We have only started talking again over little things; like getting the phone's sorted or when he's going to mind Little Son).

But that he Had to know who I was sleeping with.

Me: (trying to stall) What?

Hubby: It's all over the Pub. Everyone's talking. Everybody's disgusted with you.

Me: Who said what?

Hubby: Just tell me. Is it Brendo?

(NB Brendo scared the fuck out of me in the park one night. I had been arguing with hubby at Twink's and had left the party and was calling a cab from the park. Brendo followed, asked if I was okay, then when I told him I was fighting with hubby and going home he asked me if he could lick my pussy. I told him to get fucked and started walking away, fast, through the park; so he sent his Pit bull after me. I would Definitely Not fuck Brendo).

Me: Brendo? No!

Hubby: So it's Fluff, then.

(NB Fluff is Brendo's twin brother; and only Just a little less scary).

Me: No! As if I'd fuck Fluff.

Hubby: So it's Damon; isn't it?

Me: Damon is my friend.

Hubby: (Triumphant) You didn't say No.

This went on for a while; I kept telling him it was none of his business and I didn't have to tell him shit. Then he started picking on me for drinking so much. It was what had ruined our relationship.

Me: So it had nothing to do with years of being called a mental slut? It had nothing to do with getting bashed? Maybe, just maybe, being told things like you are 'Shit Fuck' and that you hope I 'Die Alone' were a part of it, too.

Hubby: You liked it when I hit you. You encouraged it, even. Even CC and Shaz (my good friends) think that you did.

(NB I know that isn't true; when I rang CC today she said she did have a conversation with hubby about it a few weeks ago. She told me that she had said was that maybe I liked it when he was being nice to me again, after the beatings, when he was sorry and being kind because he had fucked up. When he would bring me yogurt or soup because I was too sore to even chew. He was nice to me, afterwards. I see the point CC made, but he misconstrued her words.)

He left; but half an hour later the phone rang.

Hubby: Just tell me Who. It's doing my head in. If you ever cared you would tell me. I'm not going to cause shit. I'd tell you. I'd be up front.

Me: I'm not asking anything about what you've done.

Hubby: I know you don't have to say but I just want to know Who's been hiding the truth from me. I know it's someone from the Pub. Why haven't they come up and fronted me about it?

Me: I guess because he doesn't think it's any of Your business who he is sleeping with, either.

Hubby: I know it's Damon.

Me: I'm not telling you.

Hubby: If you ever cared, you'd tell me. Please. Can you just tell me? I won't go up to him and say anything. I don't care who it is. I just need to know.

(NB At this point I could tell he was getting upset. Not angry. Upset.)

Me: Okay.It is Damon.

Hubby:( Very relieved) Thanks. I just needed to know. I won't front him.

Me: I shouldn't have even told you. You didn't need to know.

Hubby: But I did.

We hung up. Ten minutes later the phone rang again...

Hubby: I'm sorry I pressured you into telling me. I don't expect anything from you but I want, I hope, that you get your shit in a pile. Quit the wine and get another job soon. And spend more time with Little Son. He's all you've got left now and all you seem to want to do is palm him off to Grandma. Would you even consider staying home from the Pub on Friday night and I'll take you and him out to dinner and the movies?

(NB Did I forget to tell you I got the sack on Tuesday? For leaving a half-empty bottle of milk and a container of Vindaloo in a fridge? That's another story which will have to wait. Meanwhile I'm job searching hard. I want to send a Happy Fucking Christmas card to my ex boss. Jan; if you weren't already blocked from my blog I'd tell you right now to Go and Get Fucked.)

Me: I don't think we should. We'll end up fighting about something like we always do. I'm not ready for Anything like that.

Hubby: Then just for dinner. Little Son would like to. Please. Will you do this for him? Will you do this for me? For yourself? Will you just stay out of the Pub for one Friday night?

Me: I wasn't even planning on going Friday. I just lost my job. Remember?

He sounded so unhappy; and even though I don't want to let him think I will still do anything he asks of me I relented anyway.

Me: For little Son then. Dinner. But no movie.

Hubby: Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow.

Damon turned up after he had finished playing in a dart competition. Over a few wines I told him what had happened. He wasn't too fazed; let him 'think what he wants to think' was his attitude. It's no one else business. He was fine when I told him I was going out for a Family Dinner.

Damon: It's two o'clock in the morning. Feel like a bit of a Cuddle?

Me: (Smilingly) Mmmm....

To Be Continued...