Wicked Webs...

So Hubby came home...

For the first week we lay together on the lounge at night and fucked like people possessed; despite the fact his jealousy came to the 'fore on more than one occasion.

He even actually did the washing!

Hubby: I know you wore your sexy black undies. I know because I washed them. I don't care. Well; I do actually. And you don't have to tell me why you wore them. I just know that you did.

I was stunned into silence for a second.

Me: We were broken up. So it's none of your business why I was wearing them.

Hubby: I know; I know. Just telling you that I knew.

The Truth is far less sinister than it might appear...

Those "sexy black undies" of mine are actually one size too big for Me. I had my period. I usually wear His old undies when I have my period. We were broken up. I had made a concious decision Not to wear his undies Ever Again. Precisely Because we were Broken Up. And because even if I Were to meet someone that night I would Never risk Mr/Ms Somebody New ever catching me in those "sexy black undies" while I was menstruating like a stuck pig.

Clearly; they are my Worst Undies. And that's why I was wearing them. It pissed me off that Hubby thought otherwise. Still; I didn't explain this too him.

We were broken up. I don't Have to explain. He can think what he wants.

Hubby: I also forgot to tell you that Fido had the shits at Miss Fancy Pant's spending so much time with you when I was staying at Twink's.

That's why she broke up with him in the first place; his Possessiveness.

Me: Did you tell him that the Powderfinger concert was Ten weeks ago? Because that's when they broke up. What right has he got to tell her, or Me for that matter, if or when we can hang out? We don't need his permission.

Hubby: He was worried that you and her would fuck I guess.

Me: If I'd wanted to fuck MFP I would have done it years ago. I don't fuck my friends. You know that. And if we Had it wouldn't have been Any of Either of your business'.

Hubby: I know. I'm know. I'm just saying.

Me: Seems to me that Fido has had Golden Shower Boy in his ear a little too much (GSB has long accused me and Hubby of being Swingers; after a botched foursome attempt ended in a threesome without GSB included. I just Couldn't let him near Me. I really should write That story. It was also the same night that Little Son was conceived. One day!)

Still; we were getting on great- until Melbourne Cup Day. Hubby cracked his first beer at eight o'clock in the morning and waited for the rain to go so that he could mow the lawn. I got Little Son ready for school and left for work.

And what a shit day at work it was! There was only myself and the New Girl. And we got Eighteen rooms. Eight studios. Two Two-bedders. Two Weeklies. And six Services. That's Heaps.

My boss J knew I had the shits but was laughing about it; even as she got ready for the Melbourne Cup lunch that the Hotel was putting on in the function room. J knows I'm a pisshead and was super keen to get to the Pub to watch the race as soon as I could. You could have put another girl on, J!

We finished about two. I raced home to get out of my uniform and then went straight to the Pub. I got my first beer and found Hubby and Jen Jen's boyfriend playing the Pokies. I told them I had to leave in just over an hour to pick up Little Son from school.

Hubby: I'm going with Daz into Town to watch the race. We're just finishing this beer and then going.

Me: So you're going to dump me are you? How do you plan on getting home from there? After I pick Little Son up I'm going home and having a few beers.

Hubby: Then I won't go.

Me: Do what you want to do. I'm going to. You'll just have to get your own way home.

I finished my beer and left them there and then quickly drove to another Pub to place my bets. I watched the race with Jeffro and Pak and then had to leave immediately to drive to school. While I was in the school yard I got a phonecall. It was Hubby.

Hubby: I'm pissed now. I've been on the piss since eight o'clock. Can you come back and get me, Milko and Bowesy and drop them home?

Me: Yeah. Won't be long.

I wasn't. But then Milko wanted to 'quickly' chop up. He took his time. By the time we were in the car it was four o'clock. My phone rang again. It was Mother.

Me: I'm just dropping all the Boy's home. I'll call you when I get there (my home).

After we dropped Milko I turned left and headed back towards the Pub. All afternoon I'd only had two beers and felt like another.

Hubby: Where are we going?

Me: How about we drop in for one on the way home? We can sit in the beer garden and buy Little Son a packet of chips?

Hubby: I knew you had this planned all along. To drag me away from the Pub and dump Little Son on me so that you can go back to the Pub all night.

Huh?

Me: Forget it. I only wanted one more on the way. I'm not going into this shit again. I'm sick of fighting like this in front of Little Son.

It continued the rest of the way home anyway.

Hubby: What's this? Why did you buy more cigarettes?

Me: Because I assumed you were going to go to the Pub with Daz and I'd have none. Where are yours?

He couldn't find them for a minute; which prompted Me to tell him that I'd have to go Back to the Pub and retrieve his packet. After all they were a full deck.

Hubby: I knew you had this plan. Now look! There's Neighbourhood Kid. He's coming over to play with Little Son and I'm too trashed. You do this to me every time. Dumping Little Son on me so you can stay out all night. Like Saturday night just gone.

There's a story to that, too...

Saturday afternoon we went to a barbecue at Jeffro's house for his little boy's Pirate Party. We took little Son and stayed for a couple of hours then left. We gave Mac's niece, Lil K, a lift back to his house. Hubby told me I could go out with Lil K for a few drinks. I told him I would be home late and I was; but I'd had chemicals and didn't come home until early in the morning. He hadn't seemed shitty at the time.

It was an interesting night to say the least...

Mac and I had gone over to his house for a quick bong. Twink came downstairs looking guilty. I went upstairs to use the loo. In the bathroom was Twink's ex; bending over at the sink with her g-string on show, washing her face. She was there, I presumed, picking up their baby. As far as I knew their relationship had Ended the same day she had (rather Belatedly) told Twink she was 22 weeks pregnant with him.

Still; I didn't expect Twink to tell Mac that he was 'busted' getting a blowjob.

Busted? By whom? Twink was the one telling the tale after all. Mac and I had just walked in on it.

Me: You're a Grub, Twink.

Twink: It's just a blowjob, Buffoon.

Me: No. It's a sexual act with someone you've been telling us you've not been with in a year.

Twink tried to tell Me he was just trying to 'keep his ex happy' so he could see the baby whenever he liked.

Me: Then it would've been You between her legs. Not the other way round. And what about C?

NB She is my friend from work; they've been rooting for about six weeks.

Also note; Twink was sober. Babysitting his son. He has claimed for the last year that he is a Single Father and has had no sexual relationship with his ex since before he was born; and it was on these selling points that C had agreed to meet up with him in the first place.

And now I knew Different.

I went home and told Hubby straight away that Mac and I had 'busted' Twink. And when I told him that C deserved to know that I knew 'different' Hubby actually agreed.

Hubby: He's been lying to everyone all along.

I thought Twink had Nuts. I was wrong...

So that was That until after Melbourne Cup Day. I hadn't seen or spoken to C though she had messaged me; on the hunt for pot. I put in a few phone calls and rang her back; still unsure of what, or if, to tell. It didn't take long for Me to make my choice. She told me she was expecting him to visit her the next day.

Me: I have something to tell you.

And I told. I busted out my mate Twink to a chick I've known for less than a year.

She thanked me. And called me her Mate.

When I went to bed I whispered to Hubby to see if he was awake...

Hubby: Yeah. Why?

Me: Because the Shit is about to hit the fan.

And it has.