Fuck Buddys...

I always thought that if (and when) I left my hubby that the next man I was with would love me back like I deserved...

Like I need. Like I want.

Apparently not.

He's not been awful. In fact he's been wonderful in every way. Mowing my lawn. Fixing my car. Putting up a trampoline on Christmas Eve. Playing with my kid and dog. I've never had a man treat me like he does. And he's not lied to me about how he feels. But I still want and crave his company above and beyond being his Fuck-Buddy. And that's all he's willing to give. And so I'll take it.

So I feel stupid. And embarrassed for feeling like this. For letting my emotions get the better of me. Yet again. I have tears now that he will not see. Or know about. I feel like a loser. I want to call him. I want him here.

What more can I do to get him to like me in the same say that I like him?

How can I stop Myself pushing him away?

I need a drink...