Note To Self...

Start acting like a writer, Buffoon. Be what you think you are.

You're certainly not a fucking vet...Nor will you ever be one.

Go to workshops. Get creative. You're never gonna get creative listening to the radio blogging about your shitty Life. Go invent a new one for yourself- you dumb bitch. Don't sit around being depressed about your arse of a Hubby. I know you love him- but it's not worth losing who You are over him. If he doesn't like you now he never will. Let him go; for both of your sakes. You're not even sure if he likes you- how can he be worth all of this pain?

The thing is, You still like to see him everyday- don't you? You want a Life together with Him and your children in this house. You still want to make out and hold his hand in public and take him home to pass out after fucking like bunnies. But the same can't be said for you, you know.

Most of the time he thinks you are a Fuckwit. Demented. A Fucked-up Mental Bitch. Serial Pest. And that's never going to change and you know it. He's never liked the real you- he only barely tolerates the half of you that doesn't offend him.

I don't understand what it is about you that he hates, either. It's not jealousy. It's dislike. Distaste.

So sit down and write your arse off Buffoon. It's March- the year is flying- you'd better start working on that book of yours again. So it can be published and earn you some money. Stop thinking that you Can't and just Do it. Prove to Yourself that you are a writer and not just some schlep-hack-amateur. Stop doing those damned Sudoku puzzles; remember that you are afraid of numbers and Just Write.

So.

Every day of the working week you will put on your Writing Coat. Sit down at the computer. And write. Nevermind if it sucks. You know yourself; you won't let it Totally suck arse. You will check your emails and Job Network prospects so that you can convey to your Hubby that you are serious about finding employment of any kind- as long as it fits in around the family and house. Plus- it would be a good idea for you to get 'Out There'. It can only be a good thing for you to Get A Life- so to speak.

You never know when your current one might get taken away.

How about Today? Starting from Now...