Axe Wounds And Bush Confidence...

Well Blogger's up to it's usual tricks and I can't seem to leave comments on anyone's blogs at the moment.

Maybe this is Karma telling me to blog, Myself...

Anyway- for want of a better post I'll take Enchantress' Challenge today and accept her Tag...


1. What's the strangest place you've made whoopee?

Considering it was also my first time- in a treehouse. Since then the most memorable spot was in the Rotunda down at one of our local parks on New Years Eve 2005/6


2. Name a part of your body you detest.

My breasts- they are way too saggy for someone who only breastfed for three weeks with my Eldest Son- and then managed only two days with my Little Son. My Hubby says I can have the money for a titty job but there will always be something other I would need to, or would rather- spend the money on than that!

3. What is your most painful childhood memory?

Being molested by my horse riding instructor when I was 13. He's dead now but if he wasn't I'm sure I'd still dream of running him down with the Bull Bar on my car.


4. Describe how you lost your virginity.

I had just turned seventeen and was in a treehouse. It was with my (now) Hubby on the first night I met him. I was holding my best friend Dano's hand- while she was getting fucked by someone else beside us. I know that sounds creepy- to have other's in the room on your first time- but it was actually quite sweet; my best friend giving me moral support!


5. Name 4 porno movies you watch over and over.

1. Bad Wives 2
2. Dallas Does Debbie
3.Ginger Snaps
4. The Horny Housewife


6. Name something you have shoplifted.

A pair of pin earrings from a store called Johns in the Mall, when I was 8. I didn't even have my ears pierced at the time though- so it was a bit of a no-brainer. I got caught and never shop-lifted again.

7. What's the highest your credit card debt has ever been?

I have hardly any credit limit but it's Always maxed out- still it's only $1500; so it's not so bad.



8. On a scale of 1-10, rate your self-esteem.

At the moment I'd say a 7- quite an improvement when had you asked the same question 12 months ago I would have answered quite honestly a 3!


9. Name a celebrity of the opposite sex whose bones you would like to jump.

Of the Opposite Sex you say? Pity- because Patricia Arquette would have been right up there with Gwen Stefani...

So I will have to say the guy who plays Captain Jack from the first series of the new Dr Who. Suze will have to help me out with his name. Failing that it's the actor who plays Mike Delfino from Desperate Housewives- mainly cos I met his 'twin' one night and the guy(his name was John)was super hot and funny- and thought I was too!

What a guy!


10. List a medical problem you had that you were embarrassed to talk to the doctor about.

I had an ingrown hair in my 'groin area' that eventually required surgery and seven stitches. My Hubby calls it my New Axe Wound.


11. When was the last time you voted and who did you vote for?

The Australian Federal Election. I voted Labour; and so does everybody I know- and yet John Howard still managed a third victory.


12. When was the last time you picked your nose? Did you get caught?

This morning. No.


13. When was the last time you farted?

This morning.


14. Women: do you groom yourself "down there"?

Yes; I have a landing strip but am bare underneath. I pluck my bikini line every day; which doesn't hurt as much as one might think.

I think it's good for a girl to have Bush Confidence. And No; I'm not talking about George W...



15. How much money do you make?

Fuck All.



16. How much money does your dad make?

Ask Professor Fuck. Cos Fuck Knows.

(Joke lifted from China Blue!)


17. Have you ever been so drunk or high you didn't remember what you did? What did your friends later tell you that you did?

Lots of times; but a recent entry would be just the other day; I was down at the Pub and apparently offered Myself as a candidate for President of the Fishing Club- and told them a vote for me meant a vote for Nude Beach Fishing Expeditions.

By all accounts it's going to be a Landslide Victory!

18. Have you ever had an abortion or paid for someone to have one? No


19. Was potty training easy for you?

I don't remember. Training my own kids wasn't.


20. If you could eliminate one religion from the face of the earth, which one would you pick?

All of them. Religion is the cause of All war; past and present.


21. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? What about in a sleazy dive bar?

Yeah- he was masquerading as my Bastard Ex...


22. Have you ever eaten a lot of junk food and then thrown it up on purpose?

Nope. But I did once throw up a seafood pizza after drinking copious amounts of beer. It was Boxing Day 1990 and I drank something like 60 375ml stubbys of VB in a 24 hour period ( I have witnesses to verify this gargantuan beer-swilling effort. This was the Minimum I drank that day- other sources have me drinking about 70!) My friend Dano took a hilarious photo of Me- I'm passed out in the bath- with one of my Sister's, my friend Bbbb and the skinny guy who always wore a Skid Row t-shirt that I've written about before. In it- I'm asleep, but still holding my beer upright...

After I threw up the pizza I kept right on drinking...

And I even managed to pull a root that night!