To Whom This Might Concern...

Hey to You All..

I've been slack, very, at blogging of late.

Call it the five jobs I have. Call it laziness. Either way I miss all three of you Staunch readers who I've given nothing in return lately for your readership.

Much has been going on...hubby continues to give me grief. I must change me private phone number again. I've just eaten a bowl of soup that Taz made for me. I didn't realise the boy could cook. I'm a Milk Maid and am covered in bruises.

Kids are well the eldest is almost done with his HSC exams. Little Son has improved in leaps and bounds and is getting his first Principal's award next Tuesday. Happy Mum.

Hope you are all well Guys.

Miss Construed x

Cunts...

Cunts may well be useful...

But only if you have one.

Paper Work...

I had the following argument about the Institution of Marriage...

(Disclaimer: Please take into account that although I have never been married I was in a de facto relationship which went for 18 years...maybe this is significant when considering the outcome of Said argument...)

I remember asking Taz if he would like me to cook him a sausage...sure it's nothing fancy but it's all I had to offer. He could have been a magnaminous Prick and just eaten it...but no. This man is his own breed.

Fast forward...yelling and pointing of fingers...called me a Cunt and drunken bitch...and it turns out that marriage is Nothing but a PIECE OF FUCKING PAPER that exists between two individuals until one of them tenders a divorce.

And Guess What?

His 7 year marriage to a red-headed slut who fucked his best friend is as invalid now as my 18 year defacto relationship with my ex-hubby is.

(NB Please note the significance of using lower case letters when alluding to the Slut that She IS. I demoted her out of Feminine Reasoning..being that if I don't know her... then I will rarely give her the Benefit of The Feminine Doubt...)

The only difference...Paperwork.

And Yes... I felt married.

Because I fucking was.

The Chosen One...

So....

I'm sitting around..waiting for You All to post...

And then I realised...I'm as hopeless as You are...

Please.

Let Me Back In to your lives People...

I'm the Chosen One.

This Is Why I Do This...

What or Who is Miss Construed?

Miss Construed is the anonymous online personal diary and homepage of rn_buffoon; that’s Me. A 36 year old Seperated mother of two…noticed how Seperated is spelt with a capital letter. That's because it Used to be important.

But this blog ain’t about Them. Or him. hubby.

It’s all about Me Myself and Eye…

What do I do for a Blogliving?

I am a part-time cleaner at a hotel…

Even though I have a university degree.

I majored in English and Philosophy and have written two memoirs about Myself called ‘A Flea’s Small World’ and ‘Thoghuts’.

If they hadn’t been rejected for publication maybe I wouldn’t be a hotel cleaner!

One day I'm going to send the Psychiatriast Guy a copy because he inspired me to write it.

So much Negativity...

Why did Eye start blogging?

To chronicle my Life as evidence for the (T)ruth. With a silent T. Only those that truly know me will recognise the true reality about that statement.

And it might come in handy as evidence one day...
Sound like You?

How long a day do you spend blogging?

Only a few hours per week currently- I’m a busy working Mum remember! I have three jobs currently. You need to work if your Ex doesn't.

Why subscribe to my blog?

Because it’s a true and disturbingly honest account of my Life…

And because there are absolutely no holds barred.

Even when I am scared...

Nothing is sacred!

I give you my heart.

What advice to I give to other Bloggers?

Write from from your heart about the things in you life that you are most passionate about. Be honest with Yourself first.

And...

Stay True.

The Price Of A Loaf Of Bread...

Nastiness..gets you nowhere, hubby. Surely your shrink has told you this.

I love you. And You love me. I'm your special. Your soul mate. Your continued interest in me, the writing of emails and texts etc, tells me so. You aren't over me, by a long shot. The mother of your two children who you supposedly loved and adored and bashed. And I could have you back. All I have to do is tell you.

You're the one who has told me that you can't say no to me. I'm not being deceitful. If anything, the admissions I have made to you only make me more honest and trustworthy.

You'd like me more..when your cock is in a man's mouth. Or the other way around. Because I think that you are.... honestly... gay. No offence.

There hasn't been any sex parties; and you're manipulation won't work because your fantasies can't make me jealous.

How about you cut to the chase and admit it...you'd love your old life back. No dole queue, no mother or creepy sister to harass you...what you and I had was my life. I loved you. You deranged fuck.

More to the point...as you have told the CSA that you have already paid me $900 advance in maintenance; I have prepared a shopping list...

On your dole day (ie every fortnight), you can buy for Little Son

Cheese and biscuits (six pack)
K-Time Twists (Strawberry/Blueberry)
Banana's
Pink Quik
12 pack Sliced Cheese(I still have a
broken wrist remember)
Loaf of Bread
$4.50 (in an envelope) for his Monday lunch order

That's about $20 worth. I'm sure you'd agree he's worth it. It won't keep a roof over his head, but it's a start.

You can have your mum deliver it on Friday's... when she picks him up. If not... don't bother trying to collect him. He won't be here..

Love you hubby...really x

Miss Construed

Why I Stayed...

I stayed... because I loved you and wanted to work things out.

Simple, really.

It makes it easier, moving on, knowing you never felt the same in return.

Regards...Again....

Have you ever considered what it must feel like for Little Son to have a grubby little piece of shit like taz come and go into his house tease and torment him and kick him in the arse boss him around telling him to go outside and then for you to take that fuckwits side and pretend it's all ok. You're Little Son's mother and it's your responsibility to provide him with a safe and comfortable environment. That house is his home and supposed to be a sanctuary. You have failed him there as a mother as well. He said he doesn't speak up because you get cranky at him and send him to his room. That leach taz is just a visitor he does not contribute with any expenses and has no authority over Little Son he should respect the fact that that is his home and he is a visitor and behave appropriately. Little Son does not like taz. He is just a kid and has to try and fit in with his environment. The one you have provided. I don't ask him about what goes on over there I don't want to know it only annoys me. He comes straight out and tells me thinking that there is something I can do. I am his father and I have a interest in his welfare. Little Son wishes taz would die he hates it when taz comes over to get drunk with his mother he hates it when taz blows yucky smoke in his face and he hates it when his mother kisses ugly old taz. He doesn't just say this to me he will say it to my mother as well. Like when he told grandma J "I wish taz got run over by a car when he fell over drunk on the road, pissy taz" and I wasn't there so Little Son wasn't trying to impress me.
You are a disgrace as a mother you live in a fantasy world that you have created for your own piece of mind and taz is nothing but a scabby piece of dog shit.
I regret every moment I have spent with you and am ashamed to know you. It's nothing short of embarrassing for me when people find out that we have children together.
--
Regards hubby

Joshua James...

Or... we could just substitute your name into the equation...

"(Hubby) is just a visitor he does not contribute with any expenses and has no authority over Little Son he should respect the fact that that is Little Son's home and he is a visitor and behave appropriately.

So could have you when you visited my safe sanctuary. And then I wouldn't have had to take out that AVO against you. And as you no longer have to pay me any maintenance, even though the last money you gave me was a GIFT and because you said you'd feel guilty if you hadn't helped me out when you had thousands of dollars and are living rent free and without expenses...then I say Who the Fuck cares about your dilemma?

"Little Son said he doesn't speak up because you get cranky at him and send him to his room." I thought you said you didn't ask him about Taz????

"He hates it when his mother kisses ugly old taz" ??? Little Son has never seen this happen. Because it doesn't happen. You and your grand delusions.


"I regret every moment I have spent with you and am ashamed to know you.It's nothing short of embarrassing for me when people find out that we have children together."...

And what People would that be?? People that haven't known me for at least the last 9 years? Most people we both know already KNOW that we have children together, so it can hardly be a talking point that you are embarrassed about. Are you talking about your cyberslags? Here's a hint...don't mention your ex when you are trying to pick up. It only turns people away. Trust me. I'm looking.

And Actually, Nothing is as embarrassing as when I have to tell people that not only did you not want me to have our children, but that you wanted me to abort them both. Nothing is more embarrassing than telling people that you made me drive you to play cricket on the beach when I was in labour with Little Son because you didn't want to miss out on Your Fun. Nothing is more embarrassing to admit that you stayed with a man who hit because you loved him even though he didn't know how to handle his emotions or apologise for his actions. And if you doubt what I'm saying then ask your brother B and find out Exactly what he did to you that made you hit him with a cricket bat.

Or did you just see red and go apeshit on him because he was more popular than you, too?

You are/were a neglectful "husband" and "father", you are abusive and always will be; I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend with Little Son, because now that it's over I won't feel so bad telling your Mum next week that Little Son is staying home with me. All weekend. Until they get back from overseas. Not that you'll care; go fuck your sluts and make a new baby. Then you can tell her to get rid of it too.

You should learn from your mistakes.

On the 4th of April we kissed each other and I let you into my bed. Five weeks ago you took me shopping with my broken wrist and bought me lunch.

I don't know who you are Joshua James. Then again, I probably never did.

Faker.

An Afterthought...

"Paranoia jealousies fear and anger" ????

You actually think I feel these things?

Sounds like You have an anxiety problem; and that you are trying to transfer this on to me. When I have never felt any of these things. Ever. Except, perhaps, those times when you've assaulted me. It's on your permanent record, even if you weren't convicted. Thanks to me.

You're talking about yourself. Trust me. I did Psychology 101. You haven't.

Message From A Fuckwit...

I'm not jealous of Twink he gets shit messages because he is full of shit too. I don't drink alone at the pub and I do quite fine with getting myself a fuck when ever I want. I didn't have a life with you because you were dishonest and betrayed my trust over and over again. then you would place all your paranoia jealousies fear and anger onto me. you're a complete fuckwit if you believe any of the shit you conger up just to hide your guilt. when people found out you were fucking taz their opinion of you fell. I can't see why Miss Fancy Pants would be any different. your waisting your time trying to tell me bullshit I lived through seen and experienced all your crap and everyone I talk to agrees with me that there is something seriously wrong with you. and taz is all the proof anyone ever needed you would have to be a absolute idiot to think he is anything but a slimy piece of dog shit.

--
Regards hubby

Message To Poofboy...

What was on SBS that you wanted me to watch? A show about anxiety? Funny...it reminds me (and I'm checking my text messages) of the 11th November 2009 at 10.21am when you messaged me saying (and I quote)"I need help can you call me". Which I did. And then the police came, sirens blaring, and found you (probably snivelling in the foetal position under your mum's bed)and took you to the Round House to be assessed.

You don't have a life with me BECAUSE I DUMPED YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN BASHER.

I have my eye on someone down at the pub; you know who he is(and it's neither Twink or Bowes).

And the email I showed you...was from a 33 year old chick. You've turned me off men. You are all selfish cunts.. And Taz is, and always will be, a gentleman and my mate. You are just too jealous to understand that. Maybe one day you will sit next to him at the pub and have a beer with him. Like you did with Kiwi on Friday night; someone else who you said you were going to smash. Gunna. That's you Sweetie.

Got the hint yet, WOMANBASHER??

A Sorry would help your sorry cause.

REGARDS POOFBOY.

Regards Hubby...

No one has told you to fuck me off. That is because you don't have me. I'm only civil too you because your my children's mother. Other than that my opinion of you is the same as every one else. You're a dishonest alcoholic slut who chooses to feed and fuck a slimy piece of shit who is also a lieing drunk coward. You have no integrity any more you chose to be just like taz. Stop pretending that your life is anything other than what it really is.

--
Regards hubby

By The Way...

By the way; while you were sleeping on Bowes's couch he was asleep in my bed. And Twink was on the couch. Yep.They hate me. And they really think highly of you. Not. You can think I'm a slut; like you said; because You don't have me. I dumped you. Two years ago almost. And I can do what I like. Must be hard to lose control.

Thanks for the spinach triangle...and I'm only civil to you because sometimes I feel sorry for your sad arse. Now be nice to your mum. Because otherwise she'll kick you out too.

REGARDS.

I'll Be Okay...

Own your own actions, hubby.

You made threats you were sending henchmen around, to your child's house,to fuck Taz off. You pretended in your delusion, that you were sitting on my roof, as a form of intimidation. You've said you've already paid someone to do the job and that it's a Done Deal.

If that's not fucked up then I don't know what is.

The only person people tell me to get out of my life...is You.

I don't see the point in trying to be friends.

Thanks for your lack of concern.

I'll be okay.

I'm Starting To Get The Shits....

Taz just didn't phone and say hi and when will you be home there was more to that conversation. He then rang my phone and started yelling abuse and trying to get me to come up and cause a scene so he could get you to call the police and start a hole bunch of shit. I'm tired of his smart mouth being shot off to every one specially Little Son when every one knows he is to scared to come within arms reach of me. He is the biggest lying piece of scum in Pubtown and not only do you feed and fuck him you defend him as well. If you choose to condone that fuckwit you have to wear all the bullshit that comes with him. The fact that you're "friends" with him has cost you dignity. He is not a good bloke and never has been he is a lier and a sponge and you are his only friend and he only pretends to be yours so he can benefit from you. I know every one has told you to fuck him off so why don't you listen to reason.

Regards hubby

You Twat...

It's me...

I thought we were having an okay afternoon down at the pub; then Taz called me and so you got on your I'm A Fuckwit horse.

I am sick of being intimidated by you; and if you don't think you have been then get the fuck off my roof. Weirdo.

What makes bloke's tick? Neither you or Taz want a relationship with me and yet it seems you both think it's within your rights to try and control my life.

I spoke to Twink for 40 minutes tonight; he seems to think that you still love me; I say its a control factor. You gave me money for rent and food because I can't work at the moment and so everything I have worked for and done for myself in the last 18 months means nothing as I now owe you some sort of favour.

I've already thanked you; and all you could say was that you would've felt guilty if you hadn't helped me out. Please don't help me again. I don't like being held to emotional ransom.

I loved you, you Twat, more than anything.

More Crap...And I Have A Broken Wrist To Deal With

You're the one who tried to build a relationship around deceit and then blame me for your guilt. Why was I the one that had to wear all your insecurities of jealousy, fear and anger just because you thought it was ok to be cheating drunk slut. I know more about human behaviour than you think and you are the classic case of denial. The fact that you tell yourself taz is a decent person is enough to tell anyone that you live in a alternate world that you have created for yourself. Every one I know that has met him thinks he is a slimy piece of shit. So how can 30 people be wrong and you be right. Your the one who is fucked in the head. I was stupid to try search for an explanation for someones insanity. You can't make sense out of some ones insane behaviour that's why it's called insanity. LIES ARE LIES THEY ARE NOT REAL THEY ARE FALSE and so is the world you have created. tas has made an imaginary world for himself too maybe that is why you two get along so well. just drink enough piss to block out the real world and tell yourselves how great yous are and that every one else doesn't know shit. That is not the real world that is just a drunken illusion.

Don't try and tell me that I never understood you when you don't understand yourself. That's why you make up bullshit excuses to try and explain your behaviour and can't take any responsibility for your actions. I have friends that believe in me where are yours

--
Regards hubby

Will It Never End...

You're an angry person and should go see a head DR. I have given you enough money time and effort and owe you nothing. It's your own fault your life is what it is shit will always catch up with you. You have lied and manipulated ever since I've known you and a double life will always crumble leaving you with just shit. ALL THE SHIT IN YOUR LIFE YOU CREATED AND ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR. you are the one who has lost integrity with your family, friends and acquaintance's. NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANY MORE. One look at taz and they shake their heads. you live in a false world that you created so you don't have to deal with guilt. you can hide from the truth but the truth will always remain the same only your lies will change.

--
Regards hubby

Being Nasty...

And by the way; your idea of good sex is holding someone down while you jam your fingers up their unwilling arse.

That's YOU, sunshine.

Fuck OFF...And go crazy with that piece of meat. She/ He will come to understand your gayboy tendencies eventually. Or not.

By the way I thought you looked gay in that shirt you wore on Friday night. Take my advice; it doesn't suit your Chris Issac hairstyle.

Regards Miss Construed x

He Says...

You 're just angry because I'm getting good sex and all you have is a dero.

Regards...

I don't care what you do...fuck whoever you like in your dad's caravan. That's where you take a girl on a date isn't it?

Your Dad probably has spycam on you.

Talking about prospects; I wish you'd find a job. No wonder I find it hard keeping a house hold together. You're as useless as tits on a bull. Hurry up and pay me some maintenance for the kids (not sure if they are both yours, you can order the DNA test, though, if you it stops you from wondering...)

I reiterate; fuck off hubby. You are a selfish man. And lover. Three minutes. Tops. Whoopee...

Regards Miss Construed

I Hope This Is The Last Of It...

I don't care if you believe me or not I just thought you would like to know and don't try and tar me with your brush. Yes Little Son knows the girls on the computer have their tits out and stuff and I turn off the screen when he comes in. What you have done when the kids have been home is inexcusable but you deny that or were too smashed off your face to remember doesn't mean it didn't happen and you have left your children with memories of their mother they will keep for life. You're still trying to blame me for your mistakes.
I think it's about time you looked at your behaviour and deal with your guilt. Stop being angry at me all I had done was want to believe your bullshit only to be fucked over by you time and time again. You enjoy the shitty life with taz that you crave so much. Kill your brain cells with cheep piss and scrounge for your next loaf of bread. I spend quality time with Little Son when I have him, doing things he likes to do and will have good memories of when he is older.
-- If you didn't notice I wasn't drinking with Twink all Friday night and left at 8:30 to meet some one with prospects. Not like you who just waits around for the last bloke standing when the pub shuts. Like that piece of shit taz with only half his teeth, no future and no integrity. YOU PAIR ARE A JOKE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN WALK THE STREETS OF PUBTOWN WITH YOUR HEADS HELD UP.
Regards hubby

One Last Favour...

What part of Fuck Off don't you understand?

I'll have you for harassment; and there aren't too many girls with their tits out where you'll end up going. Or Little Son.

Do me one last favour?

Leave me alone.

Tell Him He's Dreaming...

So it didn't work out with the hospital administrator?

Like I believed a word of that shit anyway...

Good luck with the, what was it? A 20 year old?

You are fucking dreaming.

Next week you might want to actually spend Friday and Saturday with Little Son instead of with Twink at the pub...because if you don't want to spend your two nights with him then I'll ask Tazzie to mind him for me while I'm at work, like he did today. Simple.

And could you do something for me? Don't let Little Son see you at Work on the computer when you are picking up your cyber slags. He told me all about it.

Now fuck off.

An Update For My Workmate...

Hey Workmate

Yes I've been getting heaps of messages off the prick; about 18 yesterday, some very nasty and disturbing, telling me I'm a cocksucking slut and that is what will be written on my gravestone. I called my friend CC and had her and her partner Norty ring him to tell him to lay off, and I also rang Twinkle Toes (his best friend) and asked him to talk to him and get him to stop or I'd go back to the police. He denied to them all that he was even sending me messages but I have the proof in my phone. CC thinks he's lost the plot; he's denied ever hitting me as well though she has seen the bruises and black eyes over the years and knows I'm not lying. I'm getting a new Sim card tomorrow and will get a new phone number; at least the messages might stop if I do that.

Also, yesterday, Little Son went to the movies with hubby's sister L and her son. They were meant to bring him home by three o'clock but then I got a message from hubby saying he was going to keep Little Son for two days and that I didn't own him. I rang L and told her that she was to stick to our arrangement, she carried on saying I was being unfair to Little Son denying him contact with hubby and that Little Son was the one missing out, so I told her if he wasn't back by 4 at the latest I'd have her charged with kidnapping (a bit extreme maybe,but she's a teacher and that wouldn't go down well for her). Anyway, she bought him home, and hubby wouldn't have been pleased that I'd 'Won' the round. But Fuck him. I've talked to Little and Eldest about what he's been up to, Little Son is upset but hopefully understands that his Dad can't just walk all over me anymore.

Anyway, Norty and Twink must have had some sort of impact because he only messaged once tonight, another jibe at me being a cocksucking slut but disguised in a joke about a microwave full of roosters. He's lost it, mate. I just wish he'd leave me alone.

Little Son and I changed his room around yesterday, too. He loves it, especially his new tallboy (it is hubby's that he has stored in my garage since he and Twink got evicted from where they were living). Fuck him, it's Little Son's now. I'm going to borrow Taz's drill next week and put hubby's queen bed in there too (actually, it's my base my parents bought me when I was 21, but it's his mattress... that his mother paid for).

I worked today with Mustang, Helga was with Go Slow. Helga must have pushed her hard because they finished before we did, but that was also because the Jetstar guys didn't check out until after 12 and so Redman rolled the rooms until tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll all get a call to work,I'm not back until Sunday at this stage otherwise (so don't forget to call me Saturday if you need an extra set of hands! I am already broke after I've paid out what I needed to; haven't bought any food yet; it's pitiful, and it's only payday today.

Well my Love...thanks for thinking of me, sorry about the essay that followed. Hope to see you in the next few days.

Miss Construed x

His Reasons For Bashing A Girl...(Unedited...)

All you have is I bash you. It wasn't because my dinner was cold!
here is a list.
the first time I had to restrain you I just wanted to go to sleep. you followed me around the house screaming & yelling pissed out and would not leave me alone.
the second time just the same.
enouther time you wanted to stay at the pub drinking with no way to get home didn't want to get into the taxi and carreid on like a fuck wit
didn't mater if Little Son was getting dropped of in 1/2 hour or so you wanted to stay out drinking and flirt with outher blokes.
You would pick a fight with me just so you had an excuse to stay out drinking.
you made youself available for other blokes the first 3months we where together (lived together)
I go home to look after Little Son one new years eve when he was sick and you take the opertunity to stick your tngue down Tods throught no consern if Little Son was OK and when Tod wanted to talk to about it you jumped into the shower punched me in the face called me names then ran off and fucked him.
-- you would bring stranges home from town at all hours of the morning and smirk at me.
you would sook your ass of just to get me to fuck you and 3 days later be fucking some one ells as if that was normal.
you would write me letters saying how much you wanted me back while you where still fucking some one ells.
you would tell me you where just friends with them while you where still fucking them.
you would winge to me about wanting to spend time with me and then run off and fuck taz.
DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ON and then you wounder why I think your CRAZY why shouldn't I HATE you.
Regards hubby

The Ugly Truth...

To be honest; it started with your old boss, G, even before Greenie started at the Furniture Shop. You were wrong when he said he wouldn't be interested in someone as ugly as me. He was. We had a grand old time at the Kent after you went home in the taxi to the Old Place.

Then it was Jessie. Jeffro's mate. Or Harry is his real name. I didn't fuck him but I really Really Really Really wanted to. His dick was so much bigger than yours that I called it Perfect. And it would have been. I saw him a few weeks ago at the Exchange and we have exchanged phone numbers again. It's good to have him back in my life.

You mentioned Toddy, that was a mistake. Jessie wouldn't have been.

I fucked a few chicks on the side that I've not told you about, either. Oh well, the details are lost to us both.

Your dinner was cold because you weren't home when it was cooked. You expected a free ride every night(and still do, but at least it's your Mum who has to put up with your demands now).

I explained today, to Little Son, the meaning of the word Slut. And how that's what you are calling me. He doesn't like it. He doesn't want to see you, and is calling you Josh from now on, not Daddy. These were his terms. I'll be calling your mother in the morning to tell her not to worry about Wednesday nights, or the weekends either for that matter. For the forseeable future. Because You, my Friend, don't deserve our children. But thanks for the sperm.

As for you; you deranged fuck, I've spoken to CC (that's how it's spelt) and Miss Fancy Pants (not Sahra) and they think you are a deadset fuckwit. You are in denial about what you spoke to CC about tonight, you sent me messages saying she said I was a slut and then denied it, I'll show her your demented texts tommorrow when she turns up for lunch. And Norty and hia Dad are wanting to have words with you if the shit keeps up. I'm just giving you the heads up.

And I am fuckwit, just for giving you the time of day.

Now fuck off.

It's Over.

And I don't care if I never see you again. Little Son is on my side. As is Eldest Son.

And you will be alone.

My Good Nature...

I hope you realise you only have visitaion rights because of my good nature.

I can take that away any minute I like; especailly when I haven't had any proper maintennane off you for months.

I have other childcare arrangements.

Don't push it. Or I'll see you in court. Again.

Get Fucked...

'You do not own Little Son he is my child as well. This was always going to happen'

What a load of shit, hubby. You made this happen when you beat me up and gave me black eyes for a month. And that's only one of the documented times that you've hurt me. Don't hit the next person you fuck or else I'll always feel that you are unrepentant (that means not Sorry) and unrehabilitated (that means unwilling to change) about your actions.

How obscure; considering that you are.

And Little Son is My child. I gave birth to him. You were just the sperm donor. Hopeless fuck. Hopeless dad. Hopeless husband.

You can get FUCKED.

No Further Comment...

Funny that... because when you spoke to Taz last weekend and said you were going to smash him you never showed up.

Is it your good behaviour bond that's holding your gutless arse back?

Because, walking stick and all, he is waiting for your gutless arse.

Regards... and no further comment, Miss Construed.

Last Ditch Attempt...

I hope you meet someone new.

I will; and they are going to love me.

Unlike you, who hates me. Apparently.

Best wishes; and don't contact me again please; by email or text ...or you'll be wiped permanently with another AVO attached.

From both myself and Little Son. Remember us?

Just FUCK OFF could you?

Miss Construed

My Response...

And the person who really, actually cares for me is You???

Drum roll....Please....

No fucking thanks.

Fuck off. Stop messaging me.

Enjoy your sluts. I'm on Lavalife; if you'd like to see my profile. Like I told you I'm all up for meeting another Dad for Little Son. Miss Fancy Pants is setting me up with a guy for a weekend away in May when we go camping.

Little Son is coming.

Up Yours....

How Would You Like This In Your Inbox...

I'm a normal person that has tyred time and time again to help out a dishonest alcoholic junky whore who gets smashed off her face and has sex with the local pub gronk traumatising her children, mother and friends that actually care for her. Even though this fuck up just expects people to make sacrifice's for her, she despises them for it.
All that these people have done was cared for this pathetic person and been shat on time and time again.
You try and keep taz quiet and hidden away because every one who actually does care and makes real sacrifice's for you keeps telling you he's a cancer.
-If you think he fits then your goal in life must be to become as pathetic as him.
when some one helps some one they are suppose to feel good about it not sad because they know their efforts waisted.
You try and put other people down,specially the ones that try to help you because you hate who you are and are to ashamed to admit it so you deny the truth and replace it with your own reality. the person you really hate for what they have become is yourself all you have to do is cut off the cancer called taz lay off the cheap box of poison and your life will turn around. don't hate the people that really care for you just because you chose to be weak.
Regards hubby

Documenting...

This is my plan for the future. even though I did fuck some slut on Monday I also met a nice lady for Coffey and a chat on the Sunday just to meet. I still have six more sluts that want to have no strings attached sex in HOMETOWN and was supposed to organise to meet another this weekend but have decided not to because the lady I meet on Monday is really nice and we got on well . We had been exchanging Emails for two weeks now and yes I have been honest with her about my situation.
She is 44yrs old divorced with two children 19yr son and 6yr daughter looks after herself and is very attractive. Works at the Hospital as a Medical Administrator and own's her own house at Hometown HTS
We are going to have dinner this Saturday as well. We have talked about IF THINGS GO WELL it would be nice to raise our two youngest children together as a family.
I gave you another shot only to have the Miss Construed and Taz show again. You want to make me feel bad about little Son but why shouldn't I put all my effort into something that might have a chance and give Little Son a life he deserves or just keep jumping back on the same busted arse merry go round with you, taz and your box's of wine. I'm not trying to be nasty I'm just thinking of my future and Little Son's. You do not own Little Son he is my child as well. This was always going to happen.
--
Regards hubby

Hi Miss Constued

How are you mate? Are you going to get yourself on Facebook or what? Attached are 3 pics from the wedding Tony and I went to and then the others are from the weekend we spent away up in the highlands at Easter. He fell asleep and we drew on his face! ha ha.

Well, all is good here mate, I am crazy about this guy. He is the one for me mate but he doesn't know it and I don't know if I am the one for him. The way he looks at me says a lot but we are both taking it slow and I think holding back a little because we were both hurt before. I have now been seeing Tony for 4 months which has broken quite a few records because normally guys don't make it past 3 months with me! lol. I really hope this is it for me, the big one :). I just feel we have so much in common, dancing, singing, enjoying the same things, have the same sense of humour, fancy each other.

Sounds like you should really be with Taz,Miss. He really likes you, I can tell and he sounds like such a good guy. I like him. You really should move on from hubby, I think he is bad news mate. It is your life though and I know you have a lot of history but you deserve a good guy in your life.

Write soon and tell me the latest, I hope you and the boys are well and I want to hear you saying you are staying with Taz! (even though he is a Celtic fan!) ha ha.

Love ya kid. Let me know what you think of those pics. By the way... Tony knows all about you and how we met etc. I even let him read your blog on me! :)

xxx

Hey T

Thanks for the update; it's been a few days since I checked the old emails- so, sorry I'm only getting back to you now...

Love the pics; you look so happy! He may just be the one! A Sydney wedding? I'm sure I can make it!

Plenty of shit going on in my neck of the woods as usual; hubby and I are fighting again at the moment; we went out for lunch yesterday and then things went pear-shaped. I kissed him for a bit which was nice (it didn't go Too much further than that) but then he got snarky when Taz rang to see how I was (out of concern, not trying to interfere). I got scared when he was yelling accusations at me and so I left (drunk drove) and went over to Taz's house; it didn't go down too well. Today I've had a heap of abusive messages and phone calls; him calling me a slut etc.

I'm Over This Shit!!!

Hope your weekend escape to the Highlands was fun; I expect some more photos you know!

Love you; talk soon.

Miss Construed xx

PS Sorry this is a short one. I've got work in the morning; been thinking of you, though!

The End...

You are taz's slut of convenience not mine so dribble your sorry shit to him
I have told you 1000 times I am not interested in his and your freak show why don't you understand and why do you keep trying with me when you know what the outcome is going to be while he is still apart of you life. that fuck wit is a scumb bag piece of shit and if you can't see that then you must be the same as him
--
Regards hubby

Funny that...

I thought it was you who wanted me back. Now I know differently I'll look elsewhere too.

Little Son needs a new dad.

Regards Blah Blah Blah

Miss Construed

Dumb...

"A women down the pub said I was dumb if I expected any thing different from you to blame me for not wanting to be a part of your GERRY SPRINGER show is fucked"

Of course she said you were Dumb. You fucking are, sweety.

Miss Construed

PS And it's JERRY Springer; for future reference.

It's Getting Nasty...

Hit a nerve when I said that you had no balls, didn't I?

Funny that. You have always had an insecurity regarding your popularity and inept masculinity.

It's the first thing that you'll jump to defend; so you have nothing more to say as far as I am concerned.

Fuck whoever will fuck you. You Social Retard. You can't even hold a conversation. No wonder you have problems with relationships.

Regards

Miss Construed

Dicktionamary...

Wrong...

Delusional is when someone does not, or can not, accept that their actions or beliefs are false. Even potentially.

And it's bad English to describe a word, using that word, as it's own definition.

Learn to speeeeel. And please use correct grammar and punctuation when corresponding with me; or don't even bother. Please. It irks me.

For example, when you wrote; "delusional is when some one firmly believes in some thing that is false comformatation is a medical term for when a person changes true facts with false ones to fit their delusions."

Do you even understood this, Dickfuck? Or did you just copy this out of the Dicktionamary?

I'm cleverer than you are, Shit For Brains.

Don't forget that.

Regards

Miss Construed...

Delusional...

delusional is when some one firmly believes in some thing that is false comformatation is a medical term for when a person changes true facts with false ones to fit their delusions. I Say this because you tried telling me you were leaving because you were scared of me and I was abusive. All I done was get out of your bed and go to eldest Son's and said if tas turned up to sort it out quickly and you got up packed and was set to go to tas. You tell me why would tas show up if he knew I was there. why shouldn't I be upset that he was making a pest of himself. there is something wrong with you if you think my actions were not justified or there is something else going on that you are not telling me. I can't be expected to deal with bullshit. tas caused the shit and you took it out on me I try again and again with you only to deal with shit. a women down the pub said I was dumb if I expected any thing different from you to blame me for not wanting to be a part of your GERRY SPRINGER show is fucked

--
Regards hubby

To The Letter...

Your excusses are bullshit. Taz only had to phone once to check on you. so the other calls were to make shore there would be some kind of stress put between you and me. you would have to be some kind of idiot not to see that. and it worked. If that was a girl that I was fucking calling me you would have crack a shit too. I only stated to get the shits when you packed up ready to run off to see that fuck wit.
Tas is not a good friend he is a parasite and I know every one that has ever cared for you has told you to fuck him off he is no good.
--You have to be joking if you fucking that piece of shit and then come and say to me you want me. that is INSANE.
I have tried again when you were just playing stupid games. and I do have the balls I stayed at a hot lady's place last night I just thought I would give you one more shot first.
Regards hubby

The Biggest Loser...

It's Me...

I talked to Little Son about your accusations; as if he hears Taz and I have sex anyway; but I played along with your stupid game just to hear what sort of shit you have tried to fill his mind with.

Point One; he remembers that you left and went to the pub.

Point Two; he gave Taz two of his Easter eggs. Because he likes him.

I had a good day yesterday. Up to the point that you got jealous because I was talking to my friend on the phone; who only rang out of concern for me because of our history of you hitting me when things don't go your way. Then you stood at the end of my bed and yelled crap and made me scared so I left. With my jeans on inside out; which was how they were when I woke up this morning. You made me feel unsafe. In my own house. And I sat in a carpark while you rang countless times accusing me of fucking you around. I didn't go to Taz's house straight away; I gave you the benefit of the doubt. And then when I returned home I find you on our son's computer looking up some cyber-slag who you'd like to fuck but don't have the balls to.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

Yes I sucked your cock; and yes I shouldn't have. But it was nice to have you pat my head like the pet that you always wanted that you then send off to the pound when it doesn't suit you anymore. And I meant it when I said I missed you. You're like an old fucking shoe that I should throw away because even if you're comfortable you just don't fucking fit me anymore.

I only sucked one cock last night. The wrong one.

And if it makes you feel any better; know this...

I'm going to copy and paste this email and then post it on my blog. Then the Whole World can see what a loser you are.

Regards

Miss Construed

PS Thanks for lunch. I've paid you back.

The Truth...

This post...

Is..

Not...

Quite Far...

Away.

Enough.

From...

Drum roll; please...

The Truth.

One Away...

This post is only One Away...

From the Truth.

Tell Me Again...

I cooked you a steak sandwich for dinner...

And sucked your cock for Breakfast;

Because you asked so nicely.

So why am I a Queer Bitch?

Tell me again What I get from you?

I'll tell You All...What I get.

Abuse.

If You Loved Me...

"If you loved me then you wouldn't love someone else?"

If you loved Me...

You'd say sorry.

Don't say you're too busy; you're fanatical and obsessed.

And Piss Off if you don't care.

Regards...

I couldn't be bothered to read all that shit. I know what I have seen and been told by countless people. As far as slimebag Tas that was the first thing the relation ship counselor said was a bad idea. Big and Little Son have both mentioned your antics with pissy dero Tas. I was trying to curb a life style that was spiralling out of control.
I have no more time or energy to discuss our past relationship and not interested in starting a new one.

--
Regards hubby

I know you hate reading long things so I'll keep this short...

Miss Fancy Pants and her partner have offered to rent me a house that he owns across the road. It would be cheaper rent than here and the dog can live there too. He has indicated that he'll give me a job in the office. Schools are close and MFP reckons the area is awesome.

I guess you might wonder where Tas was on the weekend; well he was in Qld visiting his kids. He'll be moving there within the next 6-12 months. So there is nothing stopping me from making a change for myself; especially when you aren't interested in a relationship with me.

I think I'll take her up on her offer; she said the house will remain empty until I decide if I want it.

Meet someone new and make a new family.

This one's gone.

Miss Construed x

The Bad News...

The Bad News is...

I don't think I should love him anymore.

The Problem is...

I think that I do.

I Must...

What He Wrote...

The real reason for our relationship breakdown was that you wanted to go out getting smashed off your face every weekend and any night you could through the week.

You constantly flirted and hung off other blokes at the pub and caused fights with me out of the blue just so you could stay out all night drinking.You say you never cheated ( that's total bullshit) but you expressed your self as available and were more than interested which is the same disrespect.

As for communication every time I would object (which I don't see as unreasonable) you would deny any of that was going on become abusive yell, Scream and throw things. Then tell me too fuck off and get out of YOUR house. Then after a couple of days or weeks you would want to make up. Then after a few months,weeks and then days you would go out and do the exact same thing again.

All I ever asked for was to take it easy on the drugs and piss and try and do more things as a family but that didn't fit into your life style of being a pissed out drug fucking slut. So you found a dero scumbag FUCK called Tas and got shit faced and had sex all around the house so the kids could hear and see. ALL CLASS

I was moving on with my life when you said you wanted to give it another go. Now any normal person who would want a caring and trusting relationship with someone would reduce their ties with the last person they were fucking. some thing else to fight about. Just FRIENDS fuck off . How many times did we make plans to spend time together only for you to run off chasing the fuck wit. Too much JERRY SPRINGER style for me.

For the violence; your the first to crack the shits and become abusive and escalate the situation. You deny all this shit you carry on with and try to yell the loudest to win the fight.I think you secretly pushed me and wanted me to lose my temper just so you had an excuse you could use to justify you behavior. Every one has a breaking point and you know that.

As for time running out. I know you would just carry on with the same old JERRY SPRINGER show and think it was normal. So I would have to be the dumbest person on the planet to go through that shit again.

Regards,

hubby.

Sad...But True...

This tirade only proves to me one thing; that you never believed in our relationship or trusted in my love for you.

I have loved you since the first day that I met you; chased you like a fool and tried to get you to fall in love with me. I don't even know if I was successful. I think you only started going out with me at all because we had a child and you wanted to be a part of his life. Much like now; I think all of your attempts at trying to work things out with me have been because you want to live in the same house with Little Son.

We had problems WAY before we BOTH started partying at the weekends, every weekend. I think you started becoming suspicious of me because you felt you were losing control of me and so you started trying to dictate the terms by which I could enjoy myself. You were happiest when you could go out alone with your mates; when I was at home with Little Son when he was a baby. When he got a bit older you seemed to resent it that I could go out too; and then would try and control when I had to leave.

For the record; I didn't hang off other men and portray myself as single. The only people we hung around with were our friends and people who knew I was in a relationship with two children. The times that you left and went home alone I was always in the company of our friends, like Twink or Mac, CC or Jen Jen. Ask them if I even once cheated on you when we were together. I didn't. So, of course when you accused me of cheating (or wanting to)I would deny it. It didn't even matter to you if I was telling the truth; once it got into your head you believed it regardless of what I said. No one likes to be accused of being a liar, hubby; which is why the arguments happened. You had your own version of the truth and I didn't have to accept it as true when I knew I wasn't doing what you were (and still are) accusing me of.

You were jealous when I was only being myself. You didn't like the fact that people found me funny or interesting to be around. It somehow irked you not to be the centre of attention, which I never asked or needed to be. You even said yourself, on many occasions, that people liked me more than you. I can't help being who I am and I won't apologise for being me. Lots of people like who I am, even if you don't.

It was only towards the end that you decided to want to do things together as a family. You hated doing the family thing as far as I could tell. You went to the pub every afternoon and all weekend you spent with your mates; and I was like your mother, picking you up and driving you around. You even had me drive you to Norty's the morning I was in labour with Little Son. So much for caring about being a family; I almost didn't wake you up when I went to the hospital I was so angry at you for being drunk. And it would have served you right to miss out on his birth; you barely supported me throughout the whole pregnancy; like you were in denial. Then after he was born it was back to business as usual for you. Mates came first; followed by the pub. Me and the kids barely seemed to rate a second thought. You can say that's not true, if you like, but that's how it seemed to me. I'll show you my diaries again if you like. It felt like you had rejected me all over again.

I'm not going to go into the Taz thing with you; except to say that I don't have sex all around the house for the kids to see and hear. The times that you and I have made plans to spend time together Taz has always backed off and let that happen. He's told me he'd like nothing more than to see me and you back together, but as time and time again keep proving, he doesn't see that happening with any happy outcome. When I've 'run back to see him', as you put, it has been because I can trust him not to hurt me. Something I don't think I'll ever safely be able to say about you again.

What happens the Next time that you get angry at me and lose your temper? Did you see or envision my face when you were smashing the glass above my bed? I think we both know that there Will be a Next Time. Next time you might put me into hospital. Or worse. You've even said I'd deserve it. And that I encourage violence. Who does That? That really makes me reconsider the fact that I actually want to trust you and believe that you won't hurt me again when I know what you are capable of doing. And what you've already DONE.

Yes; everyone has a breaking point. But not many show theirs with such aggression and violence. The times I've got in your face and yelled was in protest for false, deluded and paranoid accusations. And for the mental abuse you put me through, like when you'd call me a fucking mental bitch when it's now been Proven that it's actually You who has most of the problems. I'm glad you accepted that to a point; but I also believe it was your intention all along to sway the judge with the '"Poor me. I've got mental issues" card so that the charges of spousal physical abuse would go away. People tell me I've done the wrong thing by not continuing the court proceedings and letting you off the assault charge. If you'd been convicted, and you Would have, maybe you would have eventually seen the error of your ways.

Getting away with it (and you have) only justifies the excuses you've made to yourself all along.

Knowing all this; it's not only you who would be the Dumbest Person on The Planet if we tried to make it work again. I'd be a right Royal Fuckwit, too, to put myself smack bang in the path of your chaos and destructive nature. You aren't the placid, easy going person that you actually think you are. You've got a lot of aggression in you that stems from god only knows where. I've thought about it for a lot of years and wondered if it could ever change. I should have known the first time, when you pushed me into your bedroom mirror at Stayton Street, that you aren't capable of change.

And THAT, my Friend...Is sad. But True.

Miss Constrewed x

My Right Of Reply...

A nut case?

It takes one, as they say, to know one.

Get help. You obviously need it as you're in such denial about the past. A few months talking to a good Psychotherapist would do you the world of good.

Fond Regards,

Miss Construed.

PS Little Son is staying with your mother this Wednesday night. I'll be instructing her that she is not to leave you alone and unsupervised whenever he is visiting. If I learn any differently I'll be ceasing these visits. I don't want you taking him down with you in case you try to do something stupid. Fucked up people do fucked up things sometimes. Also; I don't see the point in him coming to your place over this weekend being as you'll be out on the ecky's on Friday night and then at cricket all day Saturday. Maybe next week... if you play nice.

The Story Continues...

It doesn't matter which sick site you might visit; the point is you are in denial about why we broke up.

I hope you get the message soon; and before it's too late. And that you don't ruin the next person's life that you decide to bash when it suits you just because you can't or aren't able to communicate with them without resorting to violence and then blaming them for YOUR actions...

For the record; I Never fucked around on you.

Stick to the medication (if you ever took any at all) and keep going to the shrink.

Love you. No matter what.

Miss Construed x

My Letter To The X...

Sorry;but I'm not a new contact from your fucked up social network.

And if you're in any doubt as to who I am then let me refresh your schizophrenic head.

I'm the one who deserves to be killed.

And beaten up. Repeatedly. Over a 19 year period of time.

I'm the one who you jammed up the arse that night.

I'm the one who had black eyes for a fucking month.

I'm the one who's head you kept banging into a ceramic plate until it cracked.

I'm the one who let you OFF the charges.

I'm also the mother of your children.

I'm the person you tell me that You still love.

And you wonder why we aren't together anymore; you Special Needs Individual, you?

Do you feel like being enlightened?

You should be fucking ashamed of the way you treated me.

No "Man" hits his kids' mother. Or their Supposed wife.

Have a happy fucking birthday on Friday. I hope you get laid.

Your a Cocksucking Queer Cunt. You deserve to be alone.

You had it all.

I Just Want To Wish You Well...

In the immortal words of Bernard Fanning...

Tazzie; I just want to wish you well.

Enjoy meeting your kids again for the first time in six years.

We Googled them.

The Munchie Queen...

Hey Luvvy

Thanks for saying hi; I bet you are having a great time travelling around the Traps.

Boy; don't I sound like a right dick! Tally ho!

Forgive the accent...

The Cat Hat that you speak of will serve you well.

I am pissed; so please disregard all comments thus far.

Chocolate is King!

The Munchie Queen x

Neanderthal's Versus Philosophy...

Tazzie and I were watching a show about Neanderthal's and Philosophy.

Two of my favourite subjects...

He got a bit rambunctious during my Valid argument and then he left with the shits.

Shit happens...

Now his phone is turned off.

I only wanted to let him know how educated/interested I am on the subject.

He's gone home; the forty five year old Baby.

Heaven help him if he ever meets another opinionated person in his life.

So Simple...

I love you.

Tazzie.

Bad Romance...

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Caught in a bad romance

Ra Ra-ah-ah-ah
Roma Roma-ma

GaGa
Oh la-la
Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love

I want you drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
A bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your lover’s revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Caught in a bad romance
Ra ra-ah-ah-ah

Roma roma-ma
GaGa
Oh la-la
Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cuz you’re a criminal
As long as you’re mine
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love

Lady Gaga Bad Romance lyrics found on
I want your psycho
Your vertigo shtick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you’re sick
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love

You know that I want you (’Cuz I’m a free bitch baby)
And you know that I need you
I want it bad romance
Your bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your lover’s revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Caught in a bad romance
Ra ra-ah-ah-ah

Roma roma-ma
GaGa
Oh la-la
Want your bad romance

Walk walk fashion baby work it
Move that bitch c-razy
Walk walk fashion baby work it
Move that bitch c-razy
Walk walk passion baby work it
I’m a free bitch baby

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don’t wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour
Et je veux ta revenge
Je veux ton amour
I don’t wanna be friends
(Want your bad romance
I want your bad romance)
Want your bad romance!

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and
All your lover’s revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Caught in a bad romance
You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

As Performed by Lady Ga Ga

2009

The Latest...

I'm winging this post; so ride along with me if you would...

My friend Tazzie has just reconnected with his two kids after six years. I am really pleased for him except that it means he'll more than likely be moving to Queensland in the next few months to be closer to them.

That...

I am sad about.

We might not be in love but I care for him very much. He is my rock. And the only friend I feel I have at the moment. I'm crying just to admit that.

In other news; my friend, Miss Fancy Pants, has offered to rent me a house that her new partner owns on the Central Coast. At a reduced rent. I only have to find a job in the area and I'd be set. The dog would be allowed also. As it is; Little Son hates his school; is being bullied by the big kids in year four and the teachers aren't helping in any way, shape or form.

Maybe this would be my Out.

No one would miss miss me if I moved. Not even my mother. Eldest Son has almost finished high school and is rarely home anyway.

I don't know what to do...

I'm lost.

Insult To Injury...

In No Particular Order..

He smashed two of my phones to smithereens...

He wrote me a note; calling me a slut.

Thrice.

He broke a schooner glass above my bed.

Glass all through my sheets.

Then; to add insult to injury...

He Deliberately pissed on my bed.

No recollection...

Allegedly.

Fuck you, hubby.

I know you wish I had been here so you could put me through it all again.

I'm so Glad I went and stayed at Tazzie's place last night.

You could learn a thing or two about being a Gentle Man.

No Promises...

No committments.

Means...

No promises.

To Either.

Broken Hearted Girl...

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl
You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

As sung by Beyonce Knowles

2009

A Letter To Glasgow...

Hey T

Thanks for the email and the pic of your new fella; lucky that you told me about the killer high heels or I might have thought him short! Cute though; well done Babe!

Mmm; watching a DVD with a "friend"....sounds like me and my best mate Taz. But then who knows how a man's mind works? One minute he's pissed and telling me he loves me and the next I'm a cunt for being on speaking terms with hubby; I think I told you that the AVO I had on him has since gone away, though today he got a Get out of Jail free card and instead got a 18 mth good behaviour bond and another 2 years added to his three year licence disqualification; meaning he can't drive or get his licence until June 2014. Yeah right! Though, If he's caught again he'll go to jail for sure. I just hope he gets a job soon and starts paying me maintennace for little Son. I'm stony broke; or skint as you'd say!

Yeah; so I'm broke! Even with two real jobs and a couple of cashies on the side I can barely afford my bills; I'm sunk, mate. It sucks arse. What else can I tell you?

I hope you find attached a pic of me at my work party from last Friday; it was our hotel's 10th birthday and the pic is of me and my work mates in room 301 hamming it up; Robbie is our House-Elf (maintennance man) and the centre of attention being as he gets to work with all us girls every day. He's forever being a creeping Jesus and sneaking up on us when we're bent over cleaning a spa but we love him. The two prettiest (K and E) are from Front desk and the others, including me, are the house-keepers (or Shit-kickers as we affectionately call ourselves!). My boss is the one giving Robbie the big kiss on the cheek...

Little Son and hubby are sleeping in the tent in the backyard tonight; I miss Taz and have called him three times today, hubby doesn't know and I feel like I'm lying to him. I hate feeling like I have to sneak around with my best mate. I don't know what hubby wants from me; but today after court he came around to see us and then promptly fucked off to the pub for two hours and I was left here with little Son when usually I'd invite Taz over for a drink and to have tea. It just feels like I'm convienient to be with, being as I live so close to the pub. It reminds me of the old days when I'd sit waiting for him to come home for dinner after he'd put his whole paypacket through the pokies on one afternoon. I don't want to go back to that. Add to that; hubby told me the other day that he fucked his highschool ex at their 20 year reunion and I got angry and sent her some fucked up messages from his phone then deleted her number off his contact list. Tonight I see he's added her again. I shouldn't even be looking through his phone but I don't know what his agenda is. One minute he tells me I can fuck whoever I like and then it seems he's staying over just so he can go to the pub and not have to drive back to his mothers and still see his mates and I sit here lonely now and miss Tazzie, who's been here everyday for 16 months.

I need a bullet; but I won't go looking for one...

So that's the sorry tale. Hope you have a happy Valentines Day, sweetpea. Think of me and sigh.

Exhaling as we speak...

Chat soon, Love you.

Miss Construed x

TMI Tuesday (Just For Fun...)

1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?

Lust hey? It's a funny thing.

I have lusted over Taz. And Hottie. Pink. And hubby. In no particular order.

2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?

Crackle and pork spare ribs. I could eat them endlessly.Need I say more?

3. GREED: What are you greedy for?

A life plan. Money. More work.

4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?

I want to work 365 days a year. Sloth is not in my vocabulary.

5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.

When soeone tells me that I'm full of shit; a fuckwit and a liar. It generally riles me up.

6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?

I envy people with money. At least people who have Lots of it.

7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?

I'm never wrong. Just ask me. Or Taz. Hubby. Or my my mother. They'll tell you.

The Eleventh Commandment...

Lay claim to...

No One.

A New Letter For Wemmaly...

Hey Wemmaly

Thanks for saying hi; I thought that you'd never speak to me again after what happened between us a few years ago. One of my biggest fears,my Dear. I hope you know why I did what I did. And I'm sorry for hurting you.

So you saw my little house; what did you think? I've been here with Littlest and Eldest son's (when is he home?) since Sept 2008. In fact I moved in on my birthday; hubby and I had been arguing heaps before then anyway, and as I briefly told you the other day violence got the better of us about a month before and he ended up putting my head into your blue and white tiered speckly bowls. One of the plates was fully cracked, the big bottom one, which has now gone, but I still have the others on my kitchen table. It served me as a reminder why I'm now living here, but they are still here if you want them back. I had black eyes for a month and couldn't go to work for a week, and even then was only on light duties. His mother even took me up to the hospital but I didn't press any charges. He told me to get out of the Gregory Pde house, so I applied for a few houses though no one would even look at the application, being a single pensioner and with the Chopper Dog to consider. So hubby went on the lease, only to get me this house, but he's never lived here. It's my place. I hated it at first (even though it is only a few minutes walk from 4 pubs) but now I call it my home.

We've tried a few times to reconcile; within the first 4-5 weeks that I moved in he assaulted me again in my loungeroom. Police were called but I didn't have him charged...

Then I started seeing Tazzie; who you met the other day in my loungeroom. He's 45 and my new/best/only friend. He'd been through his own recent breakup and was a mate from down at the Northo before he started coming over, though we've spent a lot of time together over the last 16 months. He's made me a garden. He's a gentleman and a shithead all in one. He's also the biggest bone of contention that hubby has. They have had two punchups; not because Taz wants me as his woman but because he won't see his mate hurt. We've done the drunken sexual thing but for the most part he is just my staunchest friend. He's a steel-fixer by trade but hasn't worked since having his back operation in August, which meant we've spent a lot of time playing cards and Backgammon. He's in love with both his ex's. He doesn't want a relationship or even to hold my hand. But he's my mate. And I like him. Which makes hubby shitty. I get on better with Taz than I feel I ever have with hubby. Tazzie makes me laugh; not cry.

Anyway; hubby assaulted me again last September, held me down and choked me in front of little Son, so I took out an AVO, which he breached twice before Melbourne Cup day. He pled not guilty so it got adjourned until January. Close to the court day he started being nice, in his own mental way, and I started feeling guilty about having him up on assault charges, being as he is the kid's father and all (Taz still doesn't get why I felt guilty).I was subpoened for court but didn't show up, so the charges were dropped. He's in enough trouble as it is, he'd been placed on a 3 year good behaviour bond in November for driving unlicenced,( and since Then, has been caught driving disquailified another two times, due to appear in court in February) There's nothing I can do to get him off this time. He's going to jail for sure; getting his pre-sentance report done as we type. I didn't want to be the one who sent my kid's father to jail. Taz gets angry when I try and protect him from the consequences, that's why he's gone home tonight with the shits at me(on his walking stick...).


I think you're up to speed on my situation now; even if it took me a good hour to type it all out.

So tell me; how are you? How is Willy? I guess you're back in Orange? I hope you're well, chicken, all sorted and happy.
And I was happy to mind your stuff; I kept your elephant in the same spot on the tv exactly where you left it. Elephants don't forget. And neither will I, Wemmaly.
You're as gorgeous as ever.

Can you see the time? It's 12;44 am and I have work in the morning and I'm half pissed. Okay; fully pissed.



Take care my sweet; I hope to talk to you soon

Goof x