Dear Dad; you were the one who I had the most trouble to talking about things, but who I wanted to please the most. Even for just a few words of praise or a happy smile. I know and understand now, better than ever before, why you could never open much, and it's okay. I always knew that you loved me.
I'm sorry for all the disappointments I caused you over the years; like when I dropped out of school and came home pregnant, or when you would find me on a drinking binge at the pub and you'd have to drag me home; I always hated the look of disappointment on your face- and the knowledge that it was only there because of me.
I guess I am grateful for the past few years when we have sat at the Table at the Club. I love to hear all your old army tales, escapades of years ago, and just how you talk to your mates on anything from politics to philosophy. I never really knew that much about you until I started going down, and now I feel as much a part of the Table as anyone else. You always welcome me to the Table. I like to sit to the left of you. It means so much to be accepted there.
I know that when we were small you wanted to leave Mum but you didn't. You stayed for us kids. I'm glad you stayed but I have always wished you had gone and found love with someone who made you happier. I wished the same for Mum too. I will always love you Dad and- even though I don't always succeed- I will keep on trying to make you smile.
Love Always
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