Letter To Hubbby,,,

If you and me are going to stay together then you may as well know the real me.

Yes I'm a drunk- but I'm nowhere as bad as I used to be. Was. The drugs I'll work on. But I'm not an unfit mother- I'm just a sad confused lonely bitter bitch.

There.

I said it.

Sort of.

I'm also fun and nice and loving the rest of the time aren't I?

So now what?

I love you but I can't stay with a man who thinks that way about the mother of his children. That hurt me to the core and I'll never forget it. Even if you Would take it back you Can't.

Please just love me for who I am. I'm happier than I've been in months except for what is going on between us, and not because of drugs or alchohol. Because I have people again. Friends. And because you and me have been happier lately- mostly.

I've been thinking of nothing else for days and I just want life to get back to semi-normal again for a while. I don't ask for many things but if this keeps up I'm insisting on both of us getting counselling. I don't know about you but I'm not ready to throw away the last fifteen years especially when I still love you so much.

I don't want to break up. Ever. But this fighting has to stop.

I love you Always. I wish you'd tell me the same.